You Won't Find Heart and Soul in the Stars
by loveadubdub
Summary: She's highly educated and cultured, and it should take more than a Little League coach to get her interested.  Or at least that's what she tries to tell herself.  She should have higher standards for herself than "really good father."
1. Chapter 1

**YOU WON'T FIND HEART AND SOUL IN THE STARS**

…

She's been in Cincinnati for exactly five days when she sees him.

She's at the grocery store trying to find something suitable for dinner. She misses the fresh markets of New York, and the produce aisle at Kroger just doesn't quite match up. But she's checking out the vegetables when she sees him eyeing a bag of apples. He's glancing them over, obviously checking to make sure none of them are already rotting or bruised. It takes her ten seconds of staring before she actually registers that it's him.

She hasn't seen Sam Evans since she was eighteen years old, but he really hasn't changed at all.

He can obviously feel her staring because he looks up, and it takes him a few seconds, too, before he seems to actually believe what he's seeing. Then he smiles that same huge smile that's instantly familiar and pushes his cart over to her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He hugs her, and she lets him even though she's not really the kind of person who goes around hugging people, especially not now.

"I live here."

"In Cincinnati?"

"It's not Lima." She knows it sounds dumb the second she says it, but she's been repeating it to herself nonstop ever since she made the decision to take the job. She was never supposed to move back to Ohio, but at least it's not Lima.

Sam looks a little confused, but he laughs anyway. "I had no idea you were here."

"I've only been here a week. Less, actually." She lifts one shoulder. "I got a job at the art museum."

"That's awesome!" The job is awesome, yes, but the Ohio part being awesome is reaching to say the least. But maybe Sam doesn't realize that since he apparently never left…

"Where are you living? We should catch up." He sounds really excited, but she doesn't feel like he's hitting on her or anything. He just seems like he's happy to see her and genuinely wants to get to know her again.

She starts to answer him, but they're interrupted when a little boy runs up and throws a bag of marshmallows into Sam's cart. He's probably seven or eight, kind of shaggy blonde hair, very cute. He looks a lot like Sam's little brother used to, except, Quinn does the calculation quickly in her head, Stevie's got to be eighteen or nineteen by now. So unless their parents had _another _baby…

"This is Jake." Sam seems to notice the confused look on her face. He also seems to notice the way the little boy's looking at him, too, because he looks down and then quickly signs something with his hands. Quinn watches, half-amazed, when the boy responds with his own hand signs. Then Sam starts speaking and signing at the same time and says, "This is Quinn. We went to high school together."

Jake looks at her for a few seconds and then gives her a shy kind of smile. She smiles back, even though she has no idea what's going on. She feels very uncomfortable, but she doesn't know why.

Sam looks back at Jake and then gives him a few more signs. "Milk. Two gallons?" Jake nods and then disappears again, and Quinn's not sure what to say.

"So he's…" She lets her voice trail off because she isn't even sure how to ask.

"Deaf," Sam fills in blankly.

"Well, yeah. Obviously." Sam just gives her a look, and she kind of feels like she's just been offensive. She wasn't trying to be. She wasn't even asking about that because it's, well, _obvious. _"No, I mean, he's… your son?"

Sam just nods.

"Oh." _Oh_. Yeah, that's an appropriate response. Sam's just staring at her, and she feels nervous like nothing she says is going to be the right thing. "He looks like you."

That seems to make him smile a little. "He looks a lot like his mom, too, but yeah."

Quinn wants to ask about his mom, but that's an entirely inappropriate question to ask someone she's literally seen for an entire five minutes in ten years. Still, she casually glances down at his hand, but there's no ring there.

"I better go find him before he comes back with chips and Dr. Pepper instead of milk." Sam cracks another smile like he's joking. "But seriously, we should catch up."

…

She's not surprised at all that he actually follows up on his idea of catching up.

When she programmed her number into his phone while they were standing beside a green grapes display, she fully expected for him to use it. He doesn't disappoint, and he calls her two days later and asks if she wants to grab a drink at this place downtown that he says is "really awesome." She agrees because it's not like she's got much else to occupy her time these days. She doesn't know anyone in this city, and when she's not at work, she basically spends all of her time watching reruns of CSI and CSI: Miami.

The place he wants to meet is some sports bar that she would never go to alone. She's used to martini bars in New York City, not loud, crowded bars blaring various sports on six different huge TV screens. She doesn't seem Sam right away, but he comes in a few minutes behind her, apologizing like he's left her waiting for hours.

"Sorry, there was traffic. And then my mom kept talking, and-"

"It's fine." She smiles at him, thinking it's cute how he still talks as quickly and excitedly as he did at sixteen. "I just got here."

He seems relieved to hear that, even though he obviously knows what time they agreed to meet, and he's not even five minutes late yet. They go to a booth toward the back corner, and she wonders how often he comes here because he doesn't even glance at a menu before telling her, "They seriously have like the best wings in the world here."

She looks over a drink menu, but nothing really jumps out at her. So when the server comes, she orders a vodka tonic because she's kind of picky about more complicated mixed drinks at places she's never been to before, especially places that have fried pickles and beer nuggets on the menu. Sam orders some wings and a Miller Lite draft, and she's not surprised at all.

When they're alone again, Sam jumps straight into conversation. "So where've you been for the past decade?"

She kind of shrugs. "Yale… NYU… New York mostly."

"And now you're here?"

She nods and then gives him the very abridged version of her story. Yale was great, but she learned quickly that performing wasn't for her. Instead, she decided to major in art history and transferred to NYU for graduate school. When she graduated with her master's degree, she quickly took on an entry level position at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It was an amazing opportunity and a job she loved, but her job as an "events coordinator" basically meant that she was a glorified secretary who took care of scheduling school groups for field trips and booking the occasional wedding. She did it for almost four years, but as much as she loved it, she had hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of education that were basically going to waste. She was never going to move anywhere else in the Met. The competition was too fierce, and she was far too low on the totem pole.

So when a job as archaeology curator opened up at the Cincinnati Museum of Art, she applied on a whim and was stunned when she actually got the job.

"So here I am."

"Wow." Sam looks impressed and maybe overwhelmed by her story. "That's kind of amazing, though."

She lifts one shoulder. She's proud of her education, but she doesn't think much about it. She used to define herself as an Ivy League graduate, but after being in New York for so many years, she kind of lost the part that was supposed to be impressive.

"So are you happy to be back?"

"I guess happier than if I was actually back in Lima…" She sighs a little bit because it's something she's been struggling with. There's something about being back in Ohio that makes her feel a little bit like a failure, despite the fact that she's here with a great job and working at a very impressive museum. When she left after high school, she told herself she was leaving for good. The only times she planned to return to Ohio would be funerals and the occasional holiday, and for ten years, she managed to do just that. But now she's back, her name's on a twelve month lease, and she basically has no choice but to make the best of it.

"Do you like your job?"

She nods because she does. That's the one part of this that makes her entirely happy. "Yeah, it's great."

"I've been there. To that museum." The server returns and sets their drinks in front of them without a word and disappears again. She's certainly not working very hard to be friendly or anything. "I took Jake. Well, actually Stacy wanted to go and needed a ride, so Jake and I kind of tagged along."

She smiles at the mention of his sister- she always loved that little girl. "How old is she now?"

"Stacy? Almost seventeen. Seventeen in two weeks actually." Quinn's eyebrows shoot up because, yes, that makes total sense, but she still can't imagine it. Sam just laughs and nods. "I know, it's crazy. She's graduating next year."

That just seems unreal. "I can't believe that…"

He nods again. "Yeah. Me, either. She should still be little."

"So your parents live here?"

"Yeah. Well, they still live in Kentucky, but it's only like fifteen minutes from here."

"You live in Cincinnati, though?"

He nods, taking a long drink from his beer. She hasn't touched her own drink, but she stirs it a few times. She's really good at nursing a single drink for hours while everyone around her drinks more. It's something she perfected her freshman year of college after she got so drunk that she woke up in some random guy's bed missing her panties. After that, she learned quickly that drinking too much was not something she needed (or particularly wanted) to be involved in.

"Jake and I live here. We lived with my parents for awhile after we came back, but we've been in Cincinnati for almost three years now."

She wants to ask so many questions, but she feels weird. Still, she's just told him her entire life story, so maybe it's only fair that she gets to ask for his. She leads with a pretty general question and hopes the rest will kind of just open up. "Came back from where? Didn't you go to Tennessee for school?"

She has made a point to avoid contact with basically everyone from Lima, but she kept up with her friends for at least a few years via Facebook. And she's almost positive that she remembers Sam going to some school in Nashville when he graduated.

"Yeah, but I only stayed there for like a year and a half." He takes another huge gulp of his drink, and she finally takes a sip of her own. "My girlfriend got pregnant, so that kind of threw everything and made it crazy. We tried, though, to like make it work or whatever. We both still went to school and everything."

"Are you still together?" It's not her place to ask, but she's just curious. It's probably not _too _rude. Or at least she doesn't think it is until he answers.

"No, she died."

Quinn stares at him, not expecting to hear that at _all. _He's kind of fidgety, and he looks down at his glass and drains the rest of it. "I'm… sorry," she says, not sure what she's supposed to do right now. "I didn't know…"

"It's okay." He looks up, and she can tell he's giving a face that's supposed to state everything's fine when his eyes tell a different story. "It was a long time ago."

She swallows and sips on her drink a little bit. She's super uncomfortable now, and she can't believe she unwittingly walked into something like _that._

"I was twenty." He tells her because he obviously knows she's not going to ask. "Jake was only four months old. There was a car accident…" He looks away and focuses on getting the server's attention so that he doesn't have to look at her. When the server takes notice, he holds up his glass and gets a nod in return. Sam swallows and then looks back at her with that same look from earlier that's supposed to say everything's okay. "Jake was okay, but that's how he lost his hearing. He wasn't born like that."

Quinn takes that as an opportunity to turn the conversation away from his dead ex-girlfriend. Instead, she asks about his son. She's not sure how much is appropriate to ask, but he did say he wanted to catch up. Besides, she doesn't think it's really offensive to ask for details about his condition.

"So he can't hear at all?"

Sam shakes his head. "No, he's got zero hearing in his left ear and less than three percent in his right ear. He can wear a hearing aid and get like really low decibels, but he can't like hear conversations or anything."

"Don't they have those implant things or whatever?" She can't think of what they're called, but he obviously knows what she's talking about.

"Yeah, but he had so much physical damage in his ears after the accident that all the surgeons said the cochlears probably wouldn't work on him."

"That's got to be tough." She can't even imagine.

Sam just shrugs, though. "He doesn't know any different."

That's true, but she wasn't really talking about Jake. "But for you, too."

"Oh." He purses his lips just a tiny bit, and she can tell people don't usually ask about _him. _"My parents help me a lot."

"That's good that they live so close."

"Yeah. I mean, I didn't have much choice but to move back here after everything happened." The server arrives then with a plate of wings and a fresh beer. She asks if they need anything else, and they both shake their heads. When she's gone, Sam shrugs a little. "They weren't real happy when Julia got pregnant because we hadn't been dating that long and we were so young and everything. But it wasn't like there was much they could do about it _after _the fact, so they came around. But when she died, they like… did everything. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but they really took care of us."

His parents are good people. That's something she's always known. When they were younger, his family had some really rough spots, but they always stuck together and always loved each other. In some ways, she was really jealous of that. She never wanted to be in his position, but she was amazed that a family could even stay together during that, much less still love each other like that. It was so different from everything she knew- so different from her own family who, even while they were still together, were nothing more than a façade of perfection. The rest of her friends had one parent homes or two parent homes where everyone yelled and fought all the time. But Sam had a picture-perfect All-American family, like something you'd see on a black and white sitcom or something. And even when they lost everything else, they still managed to keep each other. So yes, there was some edge of jealousy there.

And she's not surprised at all that they stepped up when he needed them the most.

"Do you want some of these?" Sam pushes the plates of wings toward her, and they're so spicy that just the smell of them literally burns her nose. She shakes her head, and stirs her drink a little bit. "You don't know what you're missing."

She'll take her chances.

…

She loves her car.

It's silly, but she loves driving. She hasn't owned a car since high school- not taking one with her to Connecticut and not needing one in New York. So after moving back to Ohio, one of the very first things she did was start test driving. It didn't take her long to decide on a car she was confident she could afford, and she's basically been driving nonstop since. She makes up excuses to go driving, even though Cincinnati can be full of annoying traffic and street congestion. She just loves being behind the wheel.

She's in one of those full-stop downtown traffic jams when her phone buzzes from the console. She knows it's Sam before she even looks at the display. He's been texting her basically nonstop since they had drinks a few nights ago. It's funny because normally she would be completely put off by a man devoting that much attention to her in such a short amount of time. But she's not. At all. It's probably mostly to do with the fact that she _knows _Sam. She hasn't seen him in years, but after spending just a little bit of time with him, she feels like she still knows him just as well as she ever did. She also doesn't even think he's actually _hitting _on her. He's just being her friend, probably because he thinks (rightfully so) that she doesn't have anyone else.

It's just a dumb text to tell her about some man he saw by the mall walking a chicken on a leash, but it makes her smile because it's so random and meaningless. She's glad that she ran into him. At first, she was worried about rekindling any connection to her old life- she worked very hard to cut ties and make a _new _life when she left Lima. She lived in New York City for years, a place where she knew that at least four people her high school also lived, but she managed to avoid seeing any of them the entire time she was there. It's not that she's ashamed of her childhood or where she's from, but she never wanted to get stuck there. She always knew there was some place better for her, and once she left, she didn't feel the need to keep the old ties.

But she's actually finding that it's kind of nice.

…

Sam asks her if she wants to get pizza on Thursday, and she agrees mostly because she doesn't have anything better to do.

She meets him at the restaurant, and she beats him once again. He's late again, but this time it's closer to fifteen minutes than five. But she waits in her car until she sees him pull into the parking lot. She waits for him to get out of his own car, but then she sees the backdoor open, and his son is running across the parking lot without a glance back. Sam gets out and stares after him, rolling his eyes and looking a little bit annoyed, but then he smiles when he sees her.

"He's a little hyper." He sounds slightly apologetic when she meets him halfway. "One of the kids in his class had a birthday today and brought cupcakes, and he's kind of on sugar overload…"

Jake's attention is completely directed toward the mini-arcade when they find him inside the restaurant, and Sam has to literally drag him by the shoulders to follow the hostess. Once they're in a booth, Quinn watches while Sam tries to get some point across about how running through parking lots is dangerous and does his kid want to be hit by a car or something? Jake looks at it and obviously takes in the message but doesn't care because a couple of seconds later, he's reaching for a menu and flipping through the pages studying the pictures.

Sam looks exhausted or perhaps exasperated. It's obvious that he's tired, but she tries to imagine who wouldn't be in his situation. She can't imagine having to work full-time and be a single parent, let alone a single parent to a special needs child.

The server comes, and Sam and Jake have a mini-argument over drinks (Sam wins, and Jake gets water- _"No more sugar!"), _and they order a cheese pizza to split because apparently Jake's picky about pretty much all pizza toppings. Quinn's honestly surprised that Sam _eats _pizza, much less lets his child eat it, but apparently things are a little different now. He hands over a $5 bill after the server's gone, and Jake grabs it and literally crawls under the table so that he can get out of the booth and back to the arcade.

Sam watches him go and then looks back at her. "Sorry. He's not usually this crazy…"

Quinn doesn't think he's being too crazy. True, she's not really used to being around a lot of children, as none of her friends in New York were parents, but she doesn't think Jake's acting too out of the ordinary of any other seven year old she's ever seen. But she's never been around him to know what's normal and what's not.

"Are you fluent in sign language?" She's been impressed with this detail since she first saw him in the grocery store, although she can't imagine that he _wouldn't _learn.

"Kind of. I'm still learning. Jake learns new stuff at school and teaches me. It's kind of a learn as you go thing."

"Was it hard? Learning it, I mean?"

He shrugs. "It wasn't easy. But my whole family learned with me. Stacy's the best. That's what she wants to go to college for- to teach at a school for the deaf."

Quinn smiles at that. "I bet she's really good with him."

But Sam lets out this laugh that she can tell is not at all humorous. "Yeah, she likes bossing him around." Quinn just looks at him, and he kind of rolls his eyes. "They fight a lot. But she's really good at communicating with him. They just act more like brother and sister."

"What's his school like?"

"Um, they do Total Communication, which is like signing and reading and speaking. He can talk a little, but not a ton yet. He's pretty good at lip-reading, though, so he can usually understand what people are saying even if they don't know how to sign."

"But you always sign with him?" She doesn't know if she's asking too many questions, but she's honestly just interested.

"What I can, yeah. I mean, I always speak, too, because it helps him. Unless we're like in church or something obviously."

She doesn't know why the image is so appealing to her- Sam, as a father, with his son sitting in church. She hasn't been to church in close to eight years now, but there's something about the image that's inherently attractive to her. Maybe it's because there's a part of her that's not afraid to admit that's why he was so attractive at sixteen, too. She liked that he was a typical teenage boy but that he also believed in God and Jesus and all the other things that were so important to her back then. She liked that he went to church three times a week and that he wasn't embarrassed to admit it or talk about. She still believes in God, but she doesn't put as much emphasis on her faith as she did when she was younger- she doesn't believe _anything _whole-heartedly now, but there's still something sexy about a man who does.

He turns the topic back to her and asks how work is going. She honestly loves it, at least so far, but it's proving to be a lot more stressful than she originally imagined. Still, she loves the fact that she's actually putting her education to use, and she's learning all kinds of new things that she never would have touched on in her old position at the Met.

They talk for a little while, just about general things. The server returns with their drinks and a basket of breadsticks that Sam won't touch. Apparently hot wings and pizza are okay, but he draws the line at freshly buttered strips of garlic bread. He works in a gym, so it's not like he's hurting for opportunities to work off calories, but he still won't touch them.

Jake comes back, the five dollars clearly spent and gone. He climbs into the booth on the other side of Sam this time and reaches across him for his water. Apparently he's no longer bothered by the fact that he's not allowed the Coke he originally wanted. He reaches for a breadstick, which Sam immediately grabs and breaks in half because apparently he doesn't want his seven year old eating too much of it, either. But he must know his kid because Jake only takes about two bites of it anyway before he sets it down on his plate and ignores the rest of it. He looks tired and calmer than he did when they first got here- maybe pushing buttons on a video game machine tired him out or something. After he drains almost his whole water, he wraps a hand around Sam's elbow and moves so that he can lean against him, his head dropping heavily against shoulder. Sam doesn't seem phased and just sips on his own water and asks Quinn what her mom's up to these days.

All thoughts of her mother aside, she really shouldn't find the scene directly in front of her as attractive as she does.

…

She finds herself wondering what it's like to be deaf.

Imagining blindness is so much easier. She can just close her eyes and pretend that blackness is all she can see. Imagining deafness is hard, though. She read somewhere that absolute silence does not exist, so it's hard for her to put herself in the shoes of someone who hears absolutely nothing on a day in/day out basis.

Before she goes to bed, she covers her ears as tightly as she can and tries to put herself in that position, but all she hears is a muffled roaring. She can still hear herself breathing; in fact, it almost seems amplified. She wonders if Jake hears these things. That gets her started on wondering all kinds of things, like how he thinks. Sam said he can read English and is starting to lip-read, so does he think in English, or does he think in sign language? How is it possible that he can speak at all if he can't mimic sounds? Does he just mimic mouth movement, or is there more to it than that?

She can't stop thinking about it, so she finally just crawls into bed and forces herself to go to sleep.

…

Sam doesn't call her for a couple of days, and she starts to get worried.

She wonders if she offended him with all her questions about Jake and his education. But Sam didn't seem offended while they were at dinner, so she's not sure why he's suddenly avoiding her. Maybe he's just busy. That's possible, of course, but even when he's been busy, he's still managed to text her and keep up with her regularly since they've been back in touch.

She's probably just overthinking it.

She works Saturday morning but leaves around 11 because her head hurts and because she isn't that busy. If she was in New York, an entire Saturday afternoon free would be amazing. She'd have a huge list of things to do. But she's not in New York. She's in Cincinnati where she doesn't know anyone, and she has no idea what the people here do for fun.

So she calls Sam.

It's basically the first time that she's reached out to _him, _as he's usually the one contacting her. But since he hasn't done that in a couple of days, she takes the initiative. There's a good chance that he won't answer because his Saturdays might be much busier than her own, but he does answer, and she can tell right away that he's out of breath.

"Hey," she says awkwardly. In her experiencing, men who answer the phone out of breath are usually either cheating on you or sleeping with their wives and trying to cover it up and pretend like you're a business associate. Since Sam's neither married, nor in a position to cheat on her, she really just hopes she's not interrupting anything…

"Hey. What're you doing?" Okay, so men who have other women in their bed don't generally make small talk, so maybe she's in the clear at least as far as that goes.

"Nothing. Just leaving work."

"Saturday work sucks." She laughs because it's true but also because she can't really imagine _not _working Saturdays.

"What are you doing?" She's curious and bored, and it's easy to talk to him.

"Trying to clean Jake's room. I think something died in here." She laughs again because he just sounds so _normal. _She doesn't know how to explain it. "I have to get it done because my mom's coming over tomorrow, and she'll kick my ass if she sees this."

"That sounds like fun."

"Yeah? You can come over and help if you want."

"Oh, how nice of you."

"We'll feed you. I think we're having… tuna fish and apple slices."

She giggles- _giggles- _and somehow finds herself actually agreeing.

…

It's the first time she's been to his house, and when she finds the address, her first thought is that it's _cute._

It's a duplex in an older neighborhood, but she can tell just by looking at the houses that they've been kept up fairly well and that they've probably had a lot of updates done. She doesn't know if Sam owns or rents, and she thinks it's silly to be wondering such things anyway. It's really none of her business, but she's just curious. She's renting a condo, but she's looking to buy within a couple of years. She didn't want to rush into anything not knowing the area well enough, but she's been looking around casually.

Sam opens the door for her and tells her to, "Excuse the mess," which is something people always so no matter how clean their homes are. Sam's, as it turns out, _is _a little messy, but he's a man. A man with a _child _no less, so she'd honestly be shocked if it was immaculate. He gives her the "tour," which basically includes a kitchen and a living room. She can tell that his mother, or possibly his sister, was in charge of decorating, but she thinks there's a nice balance here. There's nothing _too _feminine, but there is are at least real furniture pieces and pictures on the wall, which is more than can be said for some of the "bachelor pads" she's seen.

There's a little hallway off of the living room with a bathroom and two bedrooms. Both doors are open, but he only actually shows her one. It's Jake's room, and she can tell exactly why he's afraid of his mother seeing it. It's a _wreck _with clothes and toys all over the floor and bed. The closet door is open and basically overflowing with stuff. Jake's just sitting there in the middle of the floor looking at a book and doesn't even acknowledge their presence.

"This is what he does when I tell him to clean," Sam says, shaking his head. "He suddenly gets super interested in every single thing he's supposed to be putting away."

She honestly wants to laugh, but she can imagine that that would be irritating. It's something she can imagine Sam himself doing when he was a child, though- anything to get out of the actual task at hand.

"Don't worry. You don't actually have to help," he leads her back to the kitchen. "I wouldn't torture you like that."

"Do I still get tuna and apple slices?"

He throws her a loaf of wheat bread. "If you can cut crust off."

They have exactly that- tuna on wheat with apple slices and white grape Juicy Juice. She thinks it's kind of adorable that he actually seems to care about what his child eats. Not that it's surprising, obviously, because he very obviously cares about what _he _eats, but she thinks it shows a good level of maturity and responsibility. But of course he's responsible- he's got a child, he basically has no choice.

She doesn't know why she's fixating.

Jake is much more responsive at lunch than he was in his bedroom. He's smiling a lot and tells them both a story about his classroom's gerbil that got out of its cage, and they had to look for him all afternoon yesterday. Sam translates, and Quinn tries her luck and asks if they found it. Jake smiles and nods quickly before signing something to Sam that apparently means, "He was in Anna's coat pocket."

Jake keeps talking until Sam finally tells him to eat. He does, but he stops every few bites to say something else. Sam translates all of it, and it's not as awkward as Quinn might have originally imagined it to be. She's able to talk to him, and although he doesn't understand her _all _the time, she at least feels a little more comfortable around him.

When they're done with lunch, Sam tells Jake to go clean some more and that they have to leave for practice in an hour. Jake nods his comprehension and disappears back to his bedroom (probably to find more items that need intense inspection). Quinn helps Sam put the plates in the sink and asks what type of practice.

"Little League. We usually have games on Saturday, but it's an off-week, so we just have practice."

"Oh, I didn't know he played."

"Yeah, he's been playing since he was four. He's actually really good, and I'm not just saying that because he's my kid. I'm the coach, so I'm allowed to judge them." He laughs a little, but she only registers the fact that he _coaches his son's Little League team._

She needs to quit.

…

She just keeps burying herself deeper and deeper.

As it turns out, not only does Sam coach Little League on Saturdays and Tuesdays, he coaches soccer on Mondays and Thursdays. And he takes every Wednesday afternoon off to read to Jake's class. And… God, no. She doesn't even need to go there.

She calls Danielle, her best friend from grad school and the one person she misses most in New York. They haven't talked in awhile, and right now, she'd give anything for a martini bar sitdown or even a joint mani/pedi. She just needs girl talk, and she's super glad when Danielle actually answers and says she's on an "extended lunch break." Quinn speaks her language well enough to know that she's using company time to go shopping, but there's no need to call her on it.

"I'm so fucked."

She can practically see Danielle shaking her head through the phone. "Who is he?"

"Ex-boyfriend."

"How ex?"

"Um, high school ex."

Danielle laughs and just says, "Oh."

"But he's all grown up now!" She protests like this makes some kind of difference, and she's not at all surprised with Danielle's response.

"Yes, and so are you."

"But he's got a son-"

"Oh, god."

"No, listen. He's a single father, and he's got a son- a _deaf _son- and he's… He's like Super-Dad or something."

"Quinn."

"No, he is! Little league coach, soccer coach, volunteers at his kid's school, church on Sunday…"

"And what does he do?"

She chews on her lip a little bit. "Personal trainer…"

"Oh, god."

"I know."

"So when you say you're fucked, you mean you're fucked or you want to _be _fucked?"

"Shut up." 

"So both then."

"Oh, god." Quinn lets her forehead drop into her hand because it's true, but it's really not her fault.

"But you haven't yet, right? Been fucked?"

"No." Quinn can't imagine what the people around Danielle in Macy's must be currently be thinking.

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I think he just wants to be friends."

"Is he gay?"

"No!" She rolls her eyes because leave it to Danielle to be completely incapable of comprehending the fact that there are actual decent men in the world who aren't simply looking to get laid.

"Well, maybe you should make a move. Put some of that Women's Lit minor to good use."

Quinn rolls her eyes, not because Danielle is necessarily wrong about her underlying feminism, but because she can't even _imagine _Sam's reaction to a woman making a move on him. He's older now yes, but she can tell he's still nearly as socially awkward as he was at fifteen. He still tells dumb jokes and blushes too easily when he gets embarrassed. And on top of that, he's still caught in some backwards world where he thinks he has to be some kind of Southern gentleman despite the fact that he hasn't lived in the South for a very long time. During the times that they've been out together, whether for dinner or just for drinks, he hasn't even let her _reach _for her wallet. He always holds the door open for her no matter where they are or what they're doing. And the other day at Starbucks, he actually _stood up _when she got up to go to the restroom.

She should probably be offended by part of it, but she actually finds it _endearing. _

She's definitely in trouble.

…

Sam texts her while she's at work on Friday and asks if she wants to hang out later. She agrees without thinking and immediately wonders if she's being too eager.

When she gets to his house, she expects to find him and Jake, but instead she just finds Sam by himself making a salad in the kitchen. He lets her in and offers to hang her jacket up for her. She's not even sure why she's wearing it, but there's just the slightest spring chill in the air and she picked it up on instinct.

"Where's Jake?" At first she assumes he's in his room, but she doesn't hear anything coming from that direction.

"He's at my parents. They're bringing him back tomorrow before the game."

Oh.

She's not sure why she suddenly feels nervous because it's not like she's never been alone with a man before. It's not like she's never been alone with _Sam. _But now that she's painfully aware of how stupidly attractive she finds him, it's enough to justify her nerves. Luckily (or unluckily) for her, he doesn't seem to be suffering from any kind of similar nervousness because he just goes right back to making the salad and asks her if oil and vinegar is alright.

He's actually a decent cook, and she's surprised that he's able to pull off chicken and asparagus because outside of one culinary school graduate, most of the men she knows aren't that great in the kitchen. To be fair, most of the women (herself certainly included) aren't that great, either. He actually pours her wine, and this feels way too much like a date to not be one. But other than the food, he's basically giving her no indication whatsoever that it's anything more than just two friends hanging out.

So, yes. She's a little confused.

They find some movie on HBO, and even though he seems completely at ease beside her on the sofa, she can't focus. It's too distracting being here like this, now that she can't look at him and _not _know that she's harboring some ridiculous kind of crush. She tries to tell herself to be logical. Why is she attracted to him anyway? Because he's a good dad, and she's a woman, so her ovaries automatically constrict at that? It's silly. She's highly educated and cultured, and it should take more than a Little League coach to get her interested. Or at least that's what she tries to tell herself, and she even tries to justify the classist undertones of that thought. It probably makes her a bitch, but it's the truth. She should have higher standards for herself than simply "really good father."

But she's kidding herself because when he says something and she looks over, she knows she's still ridiculously _physically _attracted to him as well.

She's always found him attractive, has since literally the very first time she laid eyes on him. He _is _attractive, and somebody would have to honestly be blind to miss that. If it's possible, she thinks he's gotten better with a little bit of age. He looks younger than he is, but that's due to the baby face he's never lost. The hair's a little darker blonde, and he's usually sporting at least some form of a five o'clock shadow no matter what time of the day it is. Even if she didn't know he was a trainer, she would be able to tell that he's still got the body, and she won't try and lie and pretend like that doesn't impress her. It always has.

"You're really lucky to have your family." She says it out of nowhere, and she's kind of surprised to hear herself. But she's just been thinking about it, how lucky he is to have parents who love him and support him and obviously help in whatever way they can.

Sam looks over at her. He's got a bottle of water dangling between his fingers, and she knows he's probably wondering what the hell she's talking about. But he just nods anyway.

"I think… Maybe if my parents had been more supportive, I would have done things differently with Beth."

She _really _doesn't know why she's saying any of this. It's not something she tries to think about, and she certainly doesn't _talk _about it. But she can't help it when it slips out. It's the truth, though- it's something that's been there at the back of her mind for years now. Beth will be twelve next month. _Twelve. _She can't imagine herself having any child right now, but especially not one that's nearly a teenager.

But there's some part of her that knows she could have done it. If she'd tried.

Sam looks like he doesn't know what to say, and she doesn't blame him. But then he kind of frowns and looks away for a second. "I didn't know what to do when Julia died. I thought about giving him up…" She can tell that's not something he likes remembering, but he looks back at her anyway. "Her parents were going to get a lawyer and try to take him. I almost just let them."

"Why didn't you?"

He lifts one shoulder. "He was mine, you know? He was still so little, but he was mine. I was just scared. I thought I was going to mess everything up."

"They didn't fight you?"

He shakes his head. "I asked them not to. They weren't my biggest fans, but I think they just wanted to make sure I could do it."

"Are they still involved?"

"Yeah. Jake goes down there for a couple of weeks during the summer. But it's hard because they can't really communicate with him. But yeah, they're still around."

She's not sure how much more she should push. He looks a little uncomfortable, but he hasn't told her to shut up and mind her own business yet. She's just curious. She can't imagine what it must have been like for him.

"Were you scared? When you…" She doesn't know how to word it without sounding offensive. "When they told you about Jake?"

Sam lets out this breath and takes a drink from his water. "Yeah. Shitless." She smiles just a tiny bit, and he nods. "I mean, it's rough when you're just sitting there in a doctor's office because you can't get your baby's attention no matter how hard you try. And then they tell you he's profoundly deaf. I didn't even know what the hell that meant."

"I can't imagine."

"I was pretty much a mess after that. I basically locked myself in my room and cried for three days while my parents took care of Jake." She can tell by the look on her face that he's ashamed to even admit that, but she honestly doesn't judge him for it. She can't imagine how she would react to that kind of news. "But then my dad finally chewed my ass and told me to grow up and that I didn't get to be selfish anymore because I had a kid to take care of. And then after that, I basically just dealt with it. It was hard, but… I just did it, you know? And my parents helped a lot. We all kind of just dealt with it together."

She wants to tell him how much she admires that. Or how she doesn't know if she could have handled it. Or how lucky Jake is that he has people who care about him that much. But she doesn't think she can say any of that without giving herself away.

So instead, she just gives him a little smile and leans her head back against the sofa to watch the rest of the movie.

…

She wakes up in an unfamiliar bed.

It takes her about ten seconds to remember where she was before she obviously fell asleep. Her eyes adjust to the darkness quickly, and she can tell she's in Sam's room even though she's never actually seen the inside of it before. His bed is very soft, and the sheets are cool against her skin. It's sort of the most comfortable she's been in awhile, which doesn't do much to help her obvious dilemma.

The main thing she notices, though, is that she's alone.

There's a lamp on his nightstand, and she flips it on and squints at the sudden brightness. She forces herself to sit up and look around even though she feels understandably uncomfortable being in here alone. She feels like she's snooping in a way as she looks around at his things. His room is very clean, neater than the rest of the house, which, although not _dirty, _does have some elements of clutter and disorganization. His bedroom, though, is perfectly in order, and his closet door is open enough to reveal perfectly arranged clothes hanging neatly.

His alarm clock says 4:47, and part of her just wants to turn the light off and go back to sleep. She can't, though, because now that she's awake, she feels guilty (and also weird) being here. So she gets up and pulls the covers of his bed back neatly so that it doesn't look slept on. Her feet are bare, which means he must have taken her shoes off- taken her shoes off before he clearly _carried her to bed. _But then she sees them, waiting for her right by the door.

She leaves the bedroom and walks carefully out into the hallway. It's dark and quiet, and she's not sure she's ever felt as strange as she does now, walking through someone else's house in the middle of the night. Part of her thinks she should just leave without causing any further disturbance, but then she sees Sam asleep on the couch with a throw pillow and an afghan, and she knows it would be beyond rude to just leave.

She wakes him up, whispering his name and barely touching his shoulder. The light from his bedroom is casting just enough of a shadow into the living room so that she can see him sleeping. His eyelashes, impossibly long, are just resting against his cheeks, and he's breathing deeply and evenly. He's not snoring or making any other kind of noise, and she's not surprised to see that he's a beautiful sleeper. Of course he would be.

When she says his name a second time, his eyes open, and it takes only a few seconds for him to sit up and start apologizing. "Sorry. I didn't want to wake you up, so-"

"It's okay." She cuts him off quickly. "Thank you." She bites down on her lip just a tiny bit. "I'm gonna go."

"What time is it?"

"Almost five."

"You should just stay. It's too-"

"No, it's okay. I've got work, and I… I'm just gonna go."

He nods, obviously not arguing with her any further. He pushes the afghan away and moves to stand up, but she tries to stop him.

"No, it's okay. Don't get up."

He ignores her, and she lets him. She gets her purse, and he grabs her jacket from where he hung it up the night before. She's not at all surprised when he helps her put it on, and she kind of hates herself for liking it as much as she does. He slips his feet into some sneakers by the door without untying him, and there's no point in telling him that she's perfectly capable of making it to her car by herself because he's already unlocking the door and following her out to the street where her car is parked. She unlocks it, and he opens the door for her just like she expects him to.

"Thanks again," she says, and she means it.

He just nods like it's no big deal and like he often lets women sleep in his bed after they fall asleep on his sofa. Maybe he does. She doesn't want to think about it.

"Text me when you get home, okay? Be careful."

She tells him she will, and he shuts the door behind her once she's safely in the driver's seat. He waits until she's out of sight before going back inside, and she wonders what the hell is wrong with her that she actually _likes _it.

Yes. Yes, she is seriously fucked.

…

A/N: This is just a two or three parter… Not sure yet, but there won't be a ton of parts. Reviews are love, and thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**YOU WON'T FIND HEART AND SOUL IN THE STARS**

**Part 2**

…

Sam kind of becomes her best friend.

Well, that's probably jumping the gun a little because her best friends are still in New York. But the truth is, she's talking to them less and less, and she's talking to Sam more and more. He's literally her lifeline in this city. Not only would she have no idea about any of the best restaurants and be lost when it comes to a place to get her car detailed, but she would just be _bored. _She honestly doesn't _know _anyone else, at least beyond the people she works with.

Part of her thinks she may be avoiding meeting new people on purpose.

She already knows she's in trouble, and it just keeps getting worse. She spends a lot of time with him and with Jake, and the more she's around them, the more she's amazed at how completely _amazing _he is at being a dad. She doesn't have much to go on from personal experience, but every single time Sam looks at his son, she can see how much he loves him and cares about him. And Jake's just great, too. He's so cute and funny, and he's warmed up to her pretty quickly. He doesn't seem to mind that she's around so much, and he acts pretty comfortable around her.

The only problem with the whole setup is the fact that Sam hasn't given any indication whatsoever that he wants to do _anything _besides just hang out and be friends. Maybe he hasn't forgiven her for cheating on him when they were sixteen, but seriously? If he's not over that by now, he needs serious help. And truthfully, she's not even sure what she wants out of him. She's not really looking for a relationship because she's only been single for six months. Before that, she was in a relationship for three years, and she's not really sure she's ready to jump back into anything. On the other hand, there's no way she could ever just have some kind of no strings attached affair with Sam.

He's definitely not that kind of guy.

…

It's almost on accident that she ends up at his parents' house for dinner.

She's actually just at Sam's helping Jake with an art project. They're supposed to be making mosaics of their names, and Sam mentions buying different colored pasta to do the typical first grade mosaic. But Quinn suggests balled up tissue paper because there's so much more potential for color scheming. Sam just laughs when she says this and shrugs like it means absolutely nothing to him. It probably doesn't, but this is what she does, okay? Well, not tissue paper mosaics exactly, but art. She does art. And she appreciates it in all forms, even in the form of elementary school homework.

So she's at the kitchen table helping Jake, teaching him how to twist the tissue and glue it to the box top that he's using as a base, and Sam's on the phone with the gym getting his latest schedule when the doorbell rings. Quinn hears the resounding ding, but Jake looks up, too, as the lights quickly flash twice. Quinn, who has never seen this before, is confused for maybe five seconds before she realizes what's going on. Sam does a quick motioning sign to Jake who slides his chair back from the table and runs in the direction of the door.

Quinn hasn't seen Mrs. Evans in a very long time, but she still looks exactly the same- too young to have a child Sam's age and _way _too young to be a grandmother. She's still just as attractive as she was ten years ago, which isn't surprising because she's a very beautiful woman. Quinn is a little surprised to see her, but apparently Mrs. Evans is more than aware that Quinn is there or at least might be there because she doesn't seem surprised at all.

Instead, she smiles at her and leans down to hug her, telling her how nice it is to see her and how great it is that she's "back in town," even though she's never actually lived here before. Quinn's always liked his mom, or at least she liked her when she was in high school. She never looked at Quinn like a teenage slut trying to ruin her son's life, which was more than can be said for some of the other mothers she was in close contact with. She was always nice to her, always welcoming. Quinn wasn't lying when she said Sam had the perfect family, and it was nice to be included in that, even if it was only briefly.

Jake shows off what he's working on, and Mrs. Evans acts appropriately impressed. She helps a little bit, and when Sam gets off the phone, they start making plans for the weekend. Sam's got to work til 11 PM on Saturday, so Jakes just going to stay with his grandparents, and they'll all just meet back up for church on Sunday.

It's then when Mrs. Evans (_"Call me Mary.") _suggests that Quinn join them for church.

"I don't know if you've found a place to join yet, but you're welcome to come with us. It's a great church. We've been going there for years."

Quinn doesn't tell her that the last time she even stepped foot in a church was two years ago for a wedding because she somehow thinks that's a definite way to get in on the wrong foot. It's not that she doesn't believe in God anymore or anything because she _does. _She's just lost whatever it was that made being part of organized religion _so important _to her at one point in her life. Church has never been the most welcoming place for her- in fact, she's always used it more to guilt herself than anything else, and she realizes that now. It's part of the reason why she stopped going.

So she has no idea why she says, "That sounds great," because it doesn't. At all.

And then Mrs. Evans (_Mary) _says, "And we always have Sunday dinner afterwards, so you're more than welcome to join us."

And that's how she ends up with the Evanses for their weekly tradition of church and food.

Church isn't actually bad at all. She goes with Sam, and they find his family. Stevie's not there because he's in Louisville at college, but his parents and sister are all there- and Jake, of course. They're all really nice to her, and they introduce her to some of their friends and the pastor who says he hopes to see her again. It's a pretty small church, and she's surprised to find that she actually _likes _being there. It's actually kind of nice to be back in church after so many years spent away.

Dinner is great. The food is amazing, of course, and she immediately feels welcome and comfortable. Everyone is really nice to her, and Stacy, who she remembers as being a hyper, non-stop talking seven year old, has grown up to be really polite and friendly. She says she remembers Quinn, and she asks her a lot of questions about New York and her job and what she's been doing for the past decade. Quinn asks the same questions, and it turns out that Stacy's an athlete as well, one of the stars of her school's track team and a starter on the soccer team. The family seems to be doing well, and they've obviously recovered from their financial issues. Their house is nice, though slightly on the smaller size. It's certainly not the huge house they had in one of the most upscale neighborhoods in Lima. She'd appreciated that house when she was sixteen, obviously for all the wrong reasons, but she's grown since then. She was around when that huge house disappeared, and she likes to think she learned a lot about life watching them struggle to hold on.

She's really happy to see that they're doing okay.

…

Sam tells her to come to the gym one day, and she asks him if he's calling her fat.

He laughs and says of course he's not. Then he says he'd just like to work out with her, and maybe it could be fun. He tells her she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to, but he can get her in for free if she wants.

She's a little apprehensive, mostly because she doesn't think she's in that great of shape. She's in _okay _shape, but she hasn't worked out in a really long time. She's always been a runner, and she still does that on a regular basis, but as far as actually being in the gym and doing anything like that… she kind of hasn't been into that for years. Meanwhile, Sam might as well _live _at the gym and actually gets paid to be there, so she's pretty sure he's not in the same boat as her.

And she's right.

She should have known better than to make her first return trip to the gym with a professional. She should have _definitely _known better than to attempt it with a personal trainer because when Sam said he wanted to "work out with her," he obviously meant kick her ass. And ten minutes after being there, she already wants to die.

He tries to play it off like he's just working out with her, but while he's not even breaking a sweat, she's literally about to fall over. And finally she does. She just drops the leg weights she's using and falls back against the bench, simultaneously trying to catch her breath and not actually die. She can feel Sam staring at her, so after she takes in a few much needed deep breaths, she looks over at him, and even though he's obviously trying hard to be serious, an amused smirk breaks out over his face a few seconds later.

"Shut up," she mumbles, looking back at the ceiling and letting her chest heave slightly.

"If you want to quit, we can." He's taunting her, and she knows it. She looks over and glares at him.

"I don't need to quit."

"You sure?" He sits up and lets his own weights fall gently back to the ground. "Because you kind of look like you're about a half-step from death over there."

"Look." She sits up and straddles the bench, looking straight at him because even though she knows he's purposely trying to get a rise out of her, it's working. "I am fine. For your information."

Sam's still got that smirk, and he looks remarkably more like a douchebag than she ever remembers him looking. Part of it is infuriating, and part of it is annoyingly sexy. She tries to ignore the latter and focus on the first.

"Maybe you need to stretch more." She can tell he's still being a jerk, but he's also offering his professional opinion. "Your muscles probably aren't used to be stretched that much."

So that's how she ends up on her back with him over her, pressing her knee all the way up to her chest. It's not _exactly _the way she's been hoping to find him over her, but she won't even lie and try to pretend like she hates it. It's embarrassing actually, to find herself enjoying it so much, especially since she knows he probably does this exact same move with at least ten people a day. And she fully understands how he's able to support himself on a gym salary because she's very positive that there are _plenty _of women (and probably some men, too) who pay for his services just so they can lie here in this very position.

"You're pretty flexible."

His words almost make her choke, and she looks at him, trying to figure out what the hell he's talking about when she realizes he's being literal. He's actually got her leg extended over her head, and she's only just now realizing it.

"I have a lot of practice." He snorts, and she hears herself maybe three seconds too late. "Shut up," she tells him again, rolling her eyes. "I meant with cheerleading. I might be old now, but that stuff kind of sticks with you."

"Clearly." He's still got that stupid smirk on his face as he eases her leg back down to once again bend at her chest.

"You know I can easily kick you in the balls from this angle, right?" She's dead serious, and he looks right in her eyes and smiles again.

"Please don't. I kind of need them." She punches him in the side, and he just laughs. "Don't break your hand, honey."

She rolls her eyes, and he slowly lets her leg down and pulls her into a sitting position. She can already feel the burn in her thighs and knows she's going to be in agony tomorrow.

"So women basically pay you to flirt with them, huh?"

He shrugs. "Just some of them."

"I can tell."

"Am I good at it?" He's still got that stupidly amused look on her face, and she wants to both punch him and kiss him.

"At flirting? Well, you haven't tried to sound like Matthew McConaughey, so I guess that's at least a step up from where you were at sixteen. Not that that's saying much."

He's still smiling, and his cheeks are a little pink. She has no idea if he's actually flirting with her or if he's just joking. That's probably the most infuriating thing of all. But he looks so damn cute that it's really hard to even _pretend _to be annoyed.

This is getting out of control.

…

"Wanna come to the game on Saturday?" Sam calls her while she's at work one day, and she takes a break from the order log she's reviewing to lean back at her desk and talk to him. "There's free pizza if we win. Well, there's free pizza if we lose, too, but we're gonna win."

She smiles to herself because he sounds like such a good coach, not to mention a good dad. She's been to practice a couple of times, just because they've been hanging out and he's asked her along. He really _is _good with the team. He's got mostly hearing kids on his team, but there are a few other kids from Jake's school on it as well. He explained to her that most of them wouldn't ever get to play because there aren't any other teams in their league that are adapted for both hearing and deaf kids. He told her that's why it was so important to him to coach- because he knew Jake would have trouble learning on any other team. "Not that I wouldn't want to coach anyway because it's awesome."

Jake is one of the star players on the team, and that's probably because he obviously has the most one on one attention from the coach. Sam's constantly got him in the yard practicing, and even from what little Quinn's seen, she can tell Jake's really talented and that he really loves it. Sam's really patient with him, too- he's really patient with the entire team. She hasn't been to any games yet, but she can tell that the kids love him and think he's amazing. He probably is.

"Okay," she agrees. "But if you don't win, I'm taking an extra slice."

…

The Braves are down by two, and Quinn can look at the field and tell that Sam's starting to get antsy.

He's got his whole team circled around him, and he's squatting down to their level. She can't tell what he's saying, but he's talking seriously and signing as well. Part of her thinks that it's silly to be so serious over a child's baseball game, but she's quickly learning that Little League is no joke. The parents in the stands around her have been taking this game way too seriously for awhile now, and she knows it's best just to keep her opinion to herself.

The first kid up to bat strikes out right away, which isn't surprising because Quinn's yet to see him actually make contact with a ball. The second hits two foul balls and then finally taps one just short of the pitcher's mound. He makes it to first base, but that's not saying much considering the fact that he's completely out of breath and looks like he's dying out there. Jake's up next, and Quinn sits up a little straighter to get a better view. His first pitch is a strike, and Quinn can see Sam watching intently and chewing his lower lip.

He hits the second pitch all the way into left field.

It's definitely one of the better hits of the game, and the boy on first makes it past second and to third, while Jake takes off to round the bases as quickly as possible. He makes it halfway to second when the ball's finally grabbed from the ground and literally _hurled _in the direction of second base. It's about a foot off from where the baseman is, though, and instead, is thrown directly into Jake's path.

Quinn swears she can hear the crack even over the screams from the stands. The ball slams right into Jake's face, and all the screaming ends almost automatically. A few people gasp when he hits the ground, and Quinn jumps up instinctively.

Sam's already running across the field, and she watches as he drops down beside Jake, who's lying face down in the dirt, and lifts him up by the shoulders. Quinn makes it to the bottom of the stands just in time to see the damage. There's already a ton of blood covering his face, but she can't tell exactly where it's coming from. When Sam pulls off Jake's batting helmet, though, she can see that there's a wound right over his eye from where the ball must have smashed him. It's bleeding a lot, and Jake seems to notice this right around the same time.

For the first few seconds, he just stares at Sam in shock. But then his lips start shaking, and three seconds later, he's in full-out sobs. One of the moms runs over with a towel, and Jake lets out a full-blown scream when she presses it to his head. She keeps it there, though, until Sam stands up and brings Jake with him. He somehow manages to balance him in just one arm and uses his other hand to take over with the towel. Jake's crying even more and has his face buried into the top of Sam's shoulder as he clings to his neck like his life depends on it or something.

"I think he needs to go to the ER." Sam meets her about halfway through the field. The game's come to a total stop, and it's basically understood that it's over. Quinn doesn't know if they have to take it as a loss or if they get a rematch or what. Not that any of that is particularly important right now.

She can see the wound up close now, and it looks pretty terrible. It's bleeding _a lot, _but she tries to tell herself that head wounds always bleed more than other injuries. Still, it would look bad on anyone, but it looks terrifying on a smaller-than-average seven year old who is clinging onto his dad and crying uncontrollably.

Quinn follows him out the parking lot, and grabs another towel that the same mother thrusts at her. Everyone looks pretty scared, especially the kids who possibly have never seen so much blood in their entire lives.

When they get to the car, Sam struggles to balance Jake halfway on the trunk so that he can actually get to the keys in his pocket. He lets the towel fall on his shoulder long enough to get the door open and _try _to get Jake into the car. It's a lot easier said than done, though, because Jake's not letting go, and when Sam actually gets him into his booster, he starts crying even harder and shaking his head when he realizes Sam actually has to drive.

Sam sighs and looks at Quinn. "Can you drive?"

She nods and takes the keys because of course she'll drive. Sam climbs into the back with Jake, and she can see in the rearview mirror as she backs out that they're fighting over the fact that Jake has to stay buckled .

"You have to stay in your seat." Sam's trying to speak clearly, and it's one of the few times she's seen him talk to his son without signing. Jake's not having it and won't pay attention. He keeps reaching for the buckle, and Sam keeps grabbing his hand. "_Stop_." He finally signs it and tells Jake once again that he has to stay buckled, but Jake's just crying and fighting with him.

"This is when it's frustrating!" Quinn looks up just as Sam scoots so close to the booster that Jake can't mess with it anymore. He presses the towel back against his head, and they both wince a little at the immediate yell that follows. "He won't listen to me, and I can't make him!"

She can tell he's trying his best not to freak out, but she doesn't blame him for being frustrated. Jake's getting closer and closer to hysterical, and she knows they're probably both terrified. She picks up the clean towel from the seat beside her and hands it back to him because the one he's currently holding is already soaked all the way through. There's going to be blood all over the car, but she doubts he's very concerned about that right now.

He calls his mom when they're almost to the hospital and tells her that Jake got hurt. She can tell just from the one-sided conversation that his mom is also going to freak out. He keeps telling her that it's okay and that they're on their way to have it looked at, but she can definitely tell that he's basically accomplishing nothing. His mother's going to freak out regardless based on the fact that she can hear her grandchild screaming in pain through the phone.

The waiting room at the ER is crowded, just like ER waiting rooms always are. She tries not to look around because she doesn't know how much more blood she can take right now. Sam's holding Jake again, and Jake's a tiny bit calmer now that he's actually back in his dad's arms. The lady at the registration desk hands over a clipboard with a stack of paperwork, and Quinn can look at Sam and tell he wants to cuss someone out. He's holding a child who is bleeding profusely, and somebody wants him to fill out paperwork. She knows it's frustrating, but it's basically what everyone feels when they find themselves in the emergency room with an actual emergency.

Quinn ends up having to fill everything out because there's no way Jake's letting Sam do anything besides sit there and hold him. So Sam has to tell her all of the basic information- Jake's height, weight, birth date, allergies, surgeries… It takes forever to fill out, and by the time she's finished, Jake's actually calming down some. But his eyelids are starting to droop, and Sam's obviously seen one too many movies that claim you can't let someone with a head injury sleep because he literally shakes him until he reopens his eyes and starts crying again.

She's honestly never been so happy in her life as she is when a nurse finally comes out and says, "Jacob Evans," in a bored to tears kind of voice. She doesn't know whether to go with them, but Sam kind of looks at her expectantly when he stands up with Jake, so she follows them. The nurse leads them to an empty room, and Jake once again refuses to let go when Sam tries to sit him on the bed. Obviously deciding it's not worth the fight, Sam just sits down with him.

The nurse doesn't seem to mind. She asks a few questions about how he got hurt and if he's shown any other kind of symptoms that might indicate something more than just the obvious head wound. She scribbles some stuff down after Sam answers and then sets his file down on the counter so that she can lean over and take a look. Jake has actually calmed down significantly since they've been away from the bustle of the waiting room. He's not even crying now, just sniffling every few seconds and still clutching his dad's arm that's tucked around his waist. The nurse pushes his hair back gently and looks everything over. It's still bleeding pretty steadily, but it's slowed down quite a bit.

"Yeah… You're gonna need some stitches, buddy." She smiles at Jake, but he just looks at her blankly, obviously not understanding anything coming out of her mouth.

"He's deaf." Sam sounds tired and also a little defensive.

The nurse looks at him, turning her attention completely away from Jake. "Oh. Well, the doctor will be in shortly to look at it." Just like that, it's like she completely disregards the fact that Jake's even in the same room. Quinn's never actually realized it before, but that's got to be the most disrespectful and annoying thing in the world. The nurse produces another clean towel and hands it to Sam, since once again, the one he's currently holding is soaked completely through.

After she leaves, Sam rolls his eyes, and Jake turns his head and looks at him. For the very first time since the accident, he actually signs something and allows Sam full use of his hands to answer.

"She said the doctor will fix it." Jake asks something else, and Sam nods. "You're okay."

They wait another fifteen minutes before the doctor actually arrives. Quinn's leaning against the wall feeling sort of awkward, but Jake has calmed down a lot and is just leaning his head back against Sam's chest without crying or screaming anymore. Sam already looks exhausted, but who could blame him?

When the doctor arrives, she smiles brightly at all of them and glances over the chart. "Baseball accident, huh? Little slugger, I see." Sam doesn't inform her that Jake's deaf, but Quinn assumes she must have at least read it in the file. The doctor pulls up a stool so that she can sit directly in front of the bed, and then she carefully pushes Jake's hair back so that she can get a better look at the wound. She studies it for a few seconds and then nods. "Oh, yeah. We're definitely going to have to stitch this up." She looks at Sam. "Has he ever had stitches before?"

"When he was a baby. He was in a car accident. That's how he lost his hearing."

She nods. "Well, this is going to take a few. I want to send him for a CT, too, just to make sure he didn't do any internal damage, but I'll go ahead and get him stitched up before we do that."

The stitches bring on the return of the screams. Actually, it's not the stitches themselves, it's the shot of Novocain that gets Jake upset. Sam explains that he's scared of needles, and the doctor finds Jake a lollipop that's supposed to distract him. Except, of course, for the fact that it has absolutely no effect when Jake gets hysterical and actually _throws _it across the room. Sam looks horrified and embarrassed, but the doctor is totally unfazed.

Sam is literally having to hold Jake down in a vice grip, pinning both of his arms down and his legs together, while a nurse holds his head still. The doctor starts cleaning the wound once the area's numb, and then she says, "Mom, do you could think can keep his hair out of the way?"

Quinn realizes she's talking to her, and she stutters a little bit. "I'm… I'm not his mom. But… yeah."

The doctor doesn't seem to care one way or another whether or not Quinn is his mother. She probably doesn't even hear it, but Quinn moves over to stand beside Sam and gently pulls Jake's bangs back away from his forehead so that the doctor has a better view of what she's doing. It's over pretty quickly, and seven stitches later, Jake's finally calm again.

The doctor leaves them again to go secure a CT scan. Jake looks tired and weak. He's very pale, which is probably due to the massive loss of blood he's recently experienced. The bandage on his head is causing his hair to stick out at a very odd angle, and he looks so much younger than he normally does.

Sam's mom shows up a few minutes after the doctor disappears. Sam doesn't look at all surprised to see her, and Quinn imagines he's probably not. To be honest, she's not surprised, either. Jake looks absolutely pitiful when he looks up and sees his grandmother, and for all the clinging he's been doing to Sam, he immediately goes to her when she bends down to hug him.

"What happened, baby?"

Jake pushes his own hair back and shows her the bandage and then follows right with her when she sits down. He climbs into her lap sideways, and starts telling her something that Quinn can't understand. She replies in sign language without actually speaking. Sam is watching them, but Quinn just feels out of place and awkward. After a couple of minutes of conversation, Mary readjusts Jake on her lap, and he leans his head over to rest against her shoulder. She kisses the top of his head, and he starts twirling some of her hair around his finger in what is obviously a comfort move. But once Jake's attention is diverted, she talks over his head to her son.

"You're lucky that stitches were all he needed."

"I know." Sam's still on the bed but leaning back against the wall. He looks completely exhausted, and Quinn feels really bad for him.

"He could have been seriously hurt."

"I know."

"An injury like that could kill a child this small."

"I _know." _Now Sam's getting pissed and defensive, and there's almost definitely going to be a fight very soon.

"You need to be more careful."

"Mom, what do you think happened? You think I _wanted _him to get hit?" Sam's staring at her, and she's staring right back. Quinn feels completely out of place, but she can't think of a way to leave without drawing attention to herself. "A kid threw a ball, and it hit him. It was an _accident. _What do you want me to do?"

She doesn't get to say whatever it is she wants him to do because the nurse comes back in carrying a hospital gown. "We're going to take him down for the CT. If you want to go ahead and get this on him, I'll be right back." She hands Sam the gown and then leaves again, grabbing Jake's chart from outside the door as she goes.

Mary stands Jake up and pulls his shirt off, being very careful of the bandage and his head. The shirt's covered in blood, which probably won't ever come out- Sam's is, too, for that matter. He hands his mother the gown without a word, and she finishes getting Jake changed. He obviously asks what's going on because Sam answers, "They're going to take pictures of your head. You just have to lie down on a table. It doesn't hurt."

Quinn's feet are beginning to hurt from standing up for so long, so she sits down on the stool the doctor was previously occupying while Jake, still looking thoroughly confused, asks something else.

"No, I promise it doesn't hurt. It's just a machine that takes pictures. But you have to be still for a few minutes."

Quinn has no idea what Jake's saying, but it's obvious that he either doesn't understand or is scared because Mary answers this time. "You can close your eyes. Daddy will go with you." But Jake, who's been standing by himself for the first time since he got hurt, goes to her and gets back into her lap, saying something that Quinn imagines means that he wants _her _to go with him.

Sam is obviously too tired to deal with this because he rolls his eyes and says, "Just take him," right as the nurse comes back to tell them they're ready for the scan. There are a lot of silent eye movements between Sam and his mother, but she finally just gets up and takes Jake's hand, leading him out of the room to follow the nurse. And then it's just Sam and Quinn, and she can tell he's angry. She doesn't have to ask what's wrong because he tells her almost the second the others are out of sight.

"She drives me crazy."

"She's probably just stressed out."

"It's not like I _wanted _Jake to get hurt!"

"She knows that. She's just worried about him."

"And _I'm _not worried?" Now Sam's looking at her like _she _did something wrong. "He's _my _kid!"

"Sam, nobody said you're not worried." She tries not to snap, but she's irritated that he's taking his anger out on her. "Everybody knows you are. Your mom's just freaking out."

Sam shakes his head like he wants to say a lot more, but he doesn't. She knows he's just irritated with his mother, but she also knows that neither one of them are actually mad at each other, they're both just frustrated with the situation. She doesn't blame them. It's scary, and she imagines it's got to be a thousand times scarier for them.

Twenty minutes later, when Jake and Mary get back, things have cooled down. Jake goes straight to Sam and climbs back into his lap, signing quickly, probably about the CT scan. Mary brags on how good he was, and then she runs a hand through Sam's hair and tells him to give her his shirt before they leave so that she can try to get it clean.

So yeah, everything's probably alright.

…

Jake's fine and back to normal within just a couple of days.

He's still got his stitches, but the CT scan comes back clear, and he doesn't even complain about the pain much after the initial shock of the injury wears off. Just to be safe, though, Sam keeps him out of school the next Monday, and Quinn randomly suggests they come to the museum. She almost expects Sam to say no, but he doesn't, and he brings Jake by after lunch.

Quinn's working, but she meets up with them and takes a little break so that she can hang out for a little while. Jake's been the museum before, but he still seems enamored the second they're inside. He immediately runs toward the giant staircase, and Sam chases after him, looking panicked and scared like he's afraid something's going to break and he's going to be responsible for it. He grabs Jake's hand and holds it probably a little too tightly, but Quinn almost thinks it's cute.

She takes them to the children's area where there are plenty of hands-on exhibits to keep Jake's attention. They walk around and look at some of the storybook art that's displayed on giant canvases, and then she takes him over to a floating Picasso exhibit where several different abstract items are floating underwater and can be moved around to create Picasso-style pictures. The pool is at kid-height, so Quinn gets down on her knees to show Jake how to move the pieces and work the game. Kids love anything where they can get their hands wet or dirty, so this particular exhibit is a huge hit. It's a little quiet today, though, obviously because most children are in school.

Jake loves it, though, and when he stops for a second to look at her and give her the most precious smile she's probably ever seen in her life, she thinks for a second that she could probably get used to it.

…

She doesn't mean to sleep with Sam.

Really. It's just a normal night, and she honestly doesn't expect anything to happen. As attractive as she finds him, she's basically resigned herself to the fact that he either doesn't feel the same way or that he's dead-set on not acting on it. He's super nice to her and treats her just like a man's supposed to treat a woman, but that's it. He doesn't ever make even the remotest of moves on her. They're friends, and she's gotten to the point where she's pretty sure that's all they're ever going to be.

So she's surprised when it happens.

She's at his house, basically just hanging out and playing with Jake while Sam cleans up in the kitchen after dinner. It's become fairly routine, and sometimes she thinks she spends more time at their house than she does at her own. In fact, she's almost sure that she does. She still doesn't know anyone else, and sometimes she worries that she's monopolizing Sam's time, but he never seems to mind. And more often than not, he's the one inviting her over and asking her to go places. So obviously he likes hanging out with her as well.

Nine o'clock rolls around, and Sam takes Jake to bed. He's on a really strict schedule, which Jake loves to fight, but Quinn's witnessed with her own eyes what happens when that schedule's broken. All hell breaks lose, and Jake turns into a seven year old nightmare. So it's just better for everyone involved if everything's followed right on time- wake up at 6:30, breakfast at 7, lunch at 12, snack at 3:30, dinner at 6, bed at 9. It keeps everyone healthy and happy.

Quinn cleans up the Legos that are scattered all over the living room while Sam's getting Jake in bed. It usually takes about ten or fifteen minutes before he actually gets him settled down enough to sleep, so Quinn takes her time organizing the Legos by color as she stacks them back in their crate. They'll be destroyed tomorrow, but at least for tonight, they'll be somewhat in order.

Sam comes back and asks if she wants to watch a movie. She has to be at work tomorrow, but it's still pretty early, so she says sure. He grabs a beer and asks her if she wants one. She doesn't because she hates beer, but she does take the water he hands her when he joins her on the sofa with the remote in his hand. They look through the On Demand selection until they find something they can both agree on, and it's all just really normal.

To be honest, she's not even sure how it happens.

They're just watching the movie, and he's got his arm around the back of the couch behind her. She doesn't think anything of it because he almost always sits like that. He likes to be stretched out as much as possible, and she doesn't find it odd or out of the ordinary. But then she realizes that he's kind of playing with her hair, twirling the ends of it around his finger almost unconsciously. He seems to realize it at exactly the same time she does because when she looks at him, he immediately stops.

And then after that, it kind of just happens in a blur.

She doesn't even know who kisses whom, and she honestly doesn't even know _why. _They haven't kissed before- well, not since they were teenagers. They've honestly never even come close. So it's crazy that one second they're watching the latest Brad Pitt, and the next, they're making out on his couch like they _are _teenagers.

Her mind basically goes blank. If she thinks about it, she's going to stop because what the hell are they even doing? But she likes it, so she tells herself to stop thinking and just go with it. He's a better kisser than she remembers, not that he was ever bad, but there's something different to it now- something more grown up and more experienced. It's a dumb thought because _of course _he's more experienced. He's a grown man with a child- he's definitely not the fumbling fifteen year old she met. She was his first girlfriend, his first real kiss, and he whispered shyly to her once that he wanted her to be his first _everything_. She wasn't. She doesn't even know who was. But whatever happened between then and now has changed him, and that much is obvious in the way that he's kissing her.

The problem, of course, is that regardless of how different he is now, there's still something about being with him that makes her _feel _like a teenager again. And she was never the best decision-maker back then.

She stops, pulls back and looks away. She can feel Sam staring at her even though she can't quite work up the nerve to look at him. She feels like an idiot.

"Sorry," he mumbles when it's obvious that she's not going to say anything. She's not sure what he's apologizing for. She's not even sure he's the one who initiated it. But he's always been a big apologizer, saying he was sorry for things that he shouldn't. That's obviously one trait he's never lost.

"It's fine," she tells him, swallowing because she needs to do something to distract herself. The air in the room is way too thick right now, and it's silly because it was just a kiss. Well, a lot of kissing, but still. They're not kids.

"Yeah." She doesn't know what he's agreeing with, and she's about ninety-eight percent positive that he doesn't know, either. She finally looks at him, and he's just _staring _at her. She doesn't remember anyone ever looking at her that intensely before in her entire life, and it sends a little jolt through her body. He's just _staring, _and then he says, "Do you want to go to my room?"

She's shocked. He's always been kind of forward, but she doesn't expect him to be forward about _this. _But he's just staring at her still, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit while he waits for her answer. She doesn't know what to say because on one hand, she really, really wants to, but on the other hand, she knows this could potentially be a very, very bad idea.

"Okay."

So that's that. Her mouth speaks for her brain, and before she knows it, he's turning off the TV and has her by the hand on the way to his bedroom. Something in her brain tells her that this is a bad idea and that they're acting without thinking, but she can't make herself listen to it. Sam locks the door when they're inside, and she knows he's only doing it because his son's down the hall, but there's something about it that seems final and makes a slight wave of panic wash over her. But then she looks at him, and he gives her the tiniest of smiles, and she immediately calms down.

She should have known he'd be like this.

From the second they're in his bedroom, he's got one-hundred percent of his attention on her. They're going agonizingly slow, but he seems really intent on just kissing her for as long as he can stand it. He backs her against the door and presses against her, and they just kiss. By the time he's eventually pulling down the straps of her dress and kissing her shoulders, she's already sure she's going to die. It takes forever to get undressed, and when she's down to her underwear, he wants to just stand there and stare at her. She can't for the life of her figure out why he'd be so enamored with her when she finally gets his shirt off and sees that his body is somehow better than it's ever been. She almost feels self-conscious standing there beside him, but he just grabs her hips and kisses her some more, and the fact that she can now feel better than ever sends a jolt of anticipation through her body.

She practically has to beg him to stop kissing her and _do _something, and when he finally pushes into her without even a mention of protection, a fleeting thought goes through her head that this partially explains why they were both teenage parents. But it's okay. She's on the Pill, and she wouldn't have let him otherwise. She learned a lesson a long time ago, but right now doesn't seem the time to bring it up. Stupid maybe, but her mouth can't really form words right now.

She knows it sounds dumb, but she honestly can't remember anything like this. It's just sex, and she's had plenty of it over the years. But this is different somehow, and it scares her to even think something like that. She almost feels like her body's betraying her, feeling more than she wants it to. She's not even sure that makes sense, but her head's all fuzzy.

He's got his eyes locked on her, sexier than she'll ever admit. She stares into them, They've always driven her crazy, the way they change colors depending on the light and whatever he's wearing- green to grey to blue to green- it's crazy. Right now, he's just staring at her like he can't physically look away or something. Then he says, "God, you are beautiful," in this really quiet voice that shocks her into realizing how quiet the whole thing is. Besides their breathing, there's basically no sound, and it confuses her for the second she gives thought to it. It feels so good, and she knows it must feel the same for him, but there's just no noise. Just the sound of their breathing and his quiet voice when he focuses his eyes on her again and says, "Kiss me…"

When it's over, she's not even really sure it happened. Her mind still feels fuzzy, and she still can't hear anything except the sound of steady, slow breathing. She feels really, really good, but she can't let herself process any of it. He's still lying half on top of her, and he kisses the top of her chest for just a second before he finally moves off of her.

It's like the second their bodies are no longer touching, her mind starts working again, and she sits up to get dressed.

He sits up, too, and she hears him say, "Stay," right before he presses his lips to the back of her shoulder blade and then rests his forehead between her neck and her shoulder.

"I have to go," and she hopes her voice sounds normal. "I have to work early." There are other reasons that she needs to leave- Jake and, more glaringly, the fact that she's about to freak out.

She grabs her dress from where it's hanging off the edge of the bed and slips it over her head. She doesn't know where her underwear is, but when she moves to get up to find it, he wraps a hand around her elbow and stops her.

"Can we do this again?"

He sounds shy, almost scared. He's always been scared of rejection. Maybe that's never changed.

She doesn't know what to tell him, so she just says, "I'll call you tomorrow."

She makes a point not to see his reaction.

…

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to review after reading the last chapter. It means a lot, and I appreciate it so, so much. Hope you guys are still interested1


	3. Chapter 3

YOU WON'T FIND HEART AND SOUL IN THE STARS

Part 3

…

It's hard to say who's ignoring whom.

Quinn would say it was him doing the ignoring, but she's also kind of sure that he'd say the opposite. Still, he's usually the one texting her or calling her- she initiates conversation sometimes, but he's far more likely to do it than she is. It's just how they work. So when he doesn't call, and they don't speak for three straight days, it's easy to blame him for ignoring her.

But she _is _the one who promised to call, and she definitely hasn't.

It's dumb, and she knows it. They had sex. They're two consenting, able-minded adults, and they had sex. It's not the end of the world. It's not even a big deal. It's just sex, and trying to turn it into something bigger than that isn't a good idea for anyone. At least not right now when they obviously can't even _speak _to each other, much less deal with this like rational mature people.

It sucks because she misses him.

And she misses Jake. And she misses hanging out at their house and having dinner with them. And she misses helping Jake with his homework and watching him and Sam play video games. She misses all of it, and it just sucks, okay?

She should have known better.

…

He texts her and asks if she's coming to the gym.

Maybe she shouldn't be surprised. It's Thursday, and they always go to the gym together on Thursdays- well, _she _goes to the gym on Thursdays and meets him there. They've been doing it for several weeks now, but she's still a little shocked that he's actually speaking to her. Or at least texting her. And she says yes even though she can think of a million and one reasons why she doesn't need to be alone at the gym with him.

But she's stupid enough to go.

Neither of them mentions it, and to say there's an elephant in the room would be an extreme understatement. There's a _huge _elephant in the room, and Quinn's almost positive that it's going to eventually sit on her squash the life out of her. But they still don't mention it.

He puts her on the treadmill first, and by puts her, she means he suggests they run awhile. They've been doing that for a couple of weeks now, and she heavily suspects that it's just so she can halfway keep up with him- running is the only exercise she's actually good at. Right after that, though, he pulls her off the treadmill and takes her back to weight training. She _hates _weights, and she thinks he's kind of a jerk for always showing her up by more than a hundred pounds.

Not to mention, it's just damn distracting.

She tries not to pay attention, or rather tries not to _notice _the way that his muscles clench under his clothes while he lifts. She can see the outline of muscle and the hard angles of his body. It's ridiculous because he's fully-clothed, and yes, he's attractive, but she should be able to concentrate on something besides what she can't even fully see. But now she knows what he looks like under those clothes, and it's very hard to think about anything else.

To Sam's credit, he's doing a pretty damn good job of ignoring her. She's honestly not even really sure why he asked her here, but she's definitely not sure now that he's almost totally ignoring her. He usually at least pays attention to her training needs- not that she actually considers him her personal trainer or anything, but she doesn't always hate it when he gives her advice and helps her stretch…

She wants to ask him what his problem is, but she doesn't. She just keeps her mouth shut and stays focused on not dying and not seriously injuring herself. She's getting better at all of this, but she's still nowhere near _good. _Finally, Sam says it's time for a break, and she's just tired enough to listen to him. She grabs her water and slides down to the floor with her back against the wall. She just sits there for a few minutes while Sam messes around and readjusts some of the machines, adding an extra ten pounds to his own. Then he finally grabs his own water bottle and sits down on the end of one of the weight benches.

"So we're just not going to talk about it?"

He's practically right in front of her, so she can't pretend like she doesn't hear him. She can, however, sip her water calmly and feign nonchalance. "Talk about what?"

Sam looks at her for maybe three seconds and then quickly rolls his eyes. "Oh. Okay."

That annoys her, not so much the eye-rolling part, but the fact that he's apparently figured out the concept of sarcasm somewhere in the last decade or so.

"What is there to talk about?" And now she's snappy, but she doesn't care. If he wants to be sarcastic and infuriate her, then she will pay it back.

"Oh, I don't know." He's staring straight at her, and that kind of pisses her off as well- she thinks she liked him better when he used to be scared of her. "Maybe the fact that we slept together, and then you just ran off in the middle of the night."

It's her turn to roll her eyes now because really? "It was hardly the middle of the night. And I had to work the next morning. And what did you want to happen? I should have stuck around so your son could wake up to some strange woman in the house?"

He's glaring at her a little bit, but she doesn't even care. "You're not _some strange woman. _I'm pretty sure Jake knows who the hell you are by now. And nice that you think I'd do stupid shit that could harm my kid."

She didn't say anything close to that, but she can tell she's pissed him off anyway. Honestly, she's not even sure why they're bickering. It's dumb. And she's not used to him fighting back- it's not something she enjoys. They sit there staring at each other (him glaring a little more), and then finally something breaks, and the silence is over.

"Why did you leave?" His voice is quieter now, less accusing. It still makes her nervous.

"I had to work…"

"Look, if it was bad or you don't like me or whatever, just tell me. Just don't bullshit me." He sounds almost hurt, more like the insecure teenager she's used to than this sarcastic grown up she's been seeing.

She doesn't even know what to say to any of that. It wasn't bad. It was _far _from bad. But that doesn't mean it felt _right. _That's what's tripping her up, and she knows it. She's been thinking about having sex with him for months now, having long since admitted his attractiveness, but thinking about it and doing it are two very different things. She's not shy about sex anymore, and she's generally very forward thinking in all ways of feminism, but… She doesn't even know what. It just felt like too much, like more than just normal sex, and that scares her.

"I just got out of a relationship." It's not exactly a valid excuse and probably more of a cop-out than anything, but at least it's honest. "Before I came here. I just don't want to jump into anything too fast."

Sam's sitting up straighter now, and he's got that flash in his eye that looks almost like eagerness. He's always been quick to that look, and she wants to tell him to stop. "We don't have to jump into anything."

"Sam."

"We could go slow." Now he's leaning forward a little, and even though they're both still sitting, him closing in the distance makes her feel claustrophobic, so she pushes herself into a standing position. She's taller than him now, it gives her some kind of leverage.

"We already had sex." She watches him glance around, obviously making sure nobody's around to eavesdrop- this is, after all, where he works. "We skipped over the slow part."

He shakes his head, though. "Not really. You've been here for more than two months, and I see you like every single day."

That part's true. It's especially jarring when they take into account the fact that they don't work together or live particularly close to each other. She literally _does _see him nearly every single day, and if she doesn't actually see him for some reason, she at least talks to him. But still, there's a difference between just hanging out and actually sleeping together.

"Then why haven't you done anything for the past two months?" She stares straight at him, enjoying being taller because it makes her feel more in control of the situation.

Sam's eyes kind of dart away before he looks at her again. "I didn't think you wanted me to."

He sounds completely honest and also like he's nervous and shy and all the things she knows he can be. It's also ridiculous because she's been fully convinced for the last however long that he's had her fully in the friend zone. She stares at him, watching his eyes because she can tell he's uncomfortable right now. But he still stands up right in front of her and looks down at her because he's always been able to say whatever is on his mind, even if it _is _extra quiet.

"I can't stop thinking about you…"

"Sam."

"I'm serious." It's like he's making it physically impossible to look away. "I thought it was really good…"

She wonders if he realizes how stupid he sounds, but he has a penis, so he probably doesn't. Of course, he's not exactly lying, either, because it _was _good, but that doesn't mean he should just come out and say it. But he's never been the best with social norms, and she's not exactly surprised that this apparently hasn't changed. It also doesn't escape her that he's basically begging (well, not really _begging, _but being way too obvious) to have sex with him again. There's no way he's possibly lacking in that department, so she's not really sure why he needs to sound so desperate.

"Can I take you out?" He blinks at her, and she really wishes she wasn't basically cornered between him and the wall. "Like on an actual date?"

"When?" That's not exactly what she means to say, but it's what comes out.

"Friday? Jake's spending the night with my parents."

She should say no because this is only going to lead to something bigger than she wants, but instead she just asks him what time he gets off work.

…

Friday comes too soon.

He picks her up and takes her to this Italian restaurant downtown. Then they walk around for a little while until they stop into Graeter's for some dessert. They take their ice cream outside to Fountain Square, and she's not surprised at all when Sam grabs her hand and pulls her down onto a bench. The Reds game is playing on the giant screen, and there are probably fifteen kids playing around the fountain.

"Do you even like the Reds?" She really can't believe how good this ice cream is, and she's glad she got the smallest available because she would definitely eat more if it was in front of her.

Sam's got his eyes on the game, but he shrugs anyway. "They're not the worst."

"They're pretty close."

"Oh, Miss New York, you must like the Yankees now, huh?" He looks at her and raises his eyebrows. He's teasing her, but she just purses her lips and shrugs her own shoulder.

"They're not the worst."

"No. They're just barely outranked by Satan as being the most evil entity in the universe."

She laughs because that's about as dramatic as it gets. And also because, "I don't even really care about baseball."

His mouth literally drops open in over-exaggerated shock. "Baseball is like… the best game ever."

"I feel like you would say that about football, basketball, or tennis depending on the season."

"I would _never _say it about tennis."

She laughs because he's so ridiculous. "Do you bring Jake here a lot?"

"Yeah, he loves it. Well, he loves baseball in general. I take him to a lot of games, too, whenever I can. You can get cheap tickets if you buy them the day of the game." He scoops out the last of his ice cream and then sets the bowl down beside his feet. "You should come with us sometime."

She hates that she's already planning on doing just that.

…

It's a fun date.

When he takes her home, she plans on just kissing him and going inside. But instead, she hears herself asking if he wants to come in for some coffee.

Fifteen minutes later, they're naked in her bed, and she's pretty sure she should know better.

…

They start having sex pretty regularly after that. And by pretty regularly, she means pretty much every day.

She needs to stop because this can only lead to disaster. But when she tries to play logic with her brain, she always ends up getting overpowered by the part that reminds her of how hot he looks without his clothes on and how he's possibly the most attentive man she's ever known in her entire life. And she's learning quickly that that attentiveness stretches far beyond opening doors and paying for her coffee.

Honestly, she's making this into a much bigger deal than it should be. In truth, it's very easy to just let things happen naturally and watch them fall back into place with him. She's not even really sure why she's resisting, or attempting to resist anyway, because he's basically the ideal man if she really wants to be honest. But he was the ideal boyfriend when she was a kid, too, and that didn't work out too well for her. Maybe that's partially it. Maybe it's the fact that she keeps having to remind herself that she's not sixteen because part of her can't seem to remember that around him. But then again, there are some pretty major reminders that come out of nowhere and smack her back to reality- most namely his son who, two nights ago, woke up with a stomach virus and proceeded to vomit all over the hallway on his way to the bathroom. Luckily he was too distracted by his own puke when he came stumbling into the living room to realize that she was trying to unbutton his father's jeans.

But yes. Even with the constant reminder of a seven year old, it's still sometimes hard _not _to feel like a teenager.

…

She mentions this potential new relationship to her sister in their regular monthly phone call.

She's not particularly close to her family. She literally has not seen her father since she was fifteen, and she doesn't really care that much. He paid for the majority of her education, but he did it without any other contact. She didn't feel too guilty taking his money because on some level, she resented him enough to think it was owed to her. Possibly it was- she doesn't think about it anymore. She still talks to her mother, but she does as little as she can get by with. She's been remarried for six years now, and Quinn doesn't feel quite as guilty about not checking in as often as she could. As for her sister, they're still in contact, but it's more out of obligation than anything. She's never had any real problems with Frannie- the age difference being enough that they didn't have too many sibling rivalry issues. Still, they've never exactly be _close, _either. Frannie chose the life nearly opposite of what Quinn chose- she went to college with the main goal of finding a husband, and she'd settled down with a budding orthodontist by the time she was twenty-two. Now they live in Florida in a McMansion with two Stepford little blonde girls named Audrey and Madeline who Quinn sees once every two or three years and doesn't miss at all the rest of the time.

So it's kind of ironic that Frannie feels the freedom to pass judgment on Quinn's own recent developments.

She's been on her to find a husband for years. She told her she was wasting her time living with a man who was never going to marry her. She's always offering advice on what men like and what Quinn should do in order to "meet somebody appropriate." It's always been annoying, and Quinn's always been quick to point out that there is plenty more to life than being tied down to a husband and a stay-at-home mom title, though it's obvious she's never actually gotten through to her sister.

So yes, she's surprised that when she tells Frannie that she's dating someone new (and yes, she's calling it dating even if they haven't actually discussed it yet), her sister isn't literally jumping for joy. Instead, she says, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Quinn asks what she means and really can't wrap her head around the fact that Frannie, of all people, is questioning her decision to potentially put herself in a new relationship. When she gets her answer, though, she basically wishes she'd never asked.

"Aren't you a little out of his league?"

"What does that mean?"

"Quinn, you're an Ivy League graduate. He works at a gym."

Quinn bites down on her back teeth because otherwise, she's going to end up saying something incredibly mean. She's already told Frannie about Sam, long before she ever slept with him or went out with him. She just told her how she ran into him and told her about Jake and a little about Sam's backstory. It was just conversation, just her talking about what was currently happening in her life. She didn't expect her words to come back and be used as ammunition against her.

And she can't help being immediately defensive. "He actually makes a very good living."

It's not exactly a lie. He's not _poor, _but he's certainly not rich. Who would be, though? He's a single parent with a ton of expenses, not to mention private school tuition and everything else that comes with trying to raise a child with special needs. She thinks he's actually doing pretty well, all things considered.

"I just don't want to see you sell yourself short. A man like that is never going to be able to take care of you."

"Well, it's a good thing I actually have a job and take care of myself." It's a dig, yes, and not even a thinly-veiled one, but she doesn't care. Her sister has never paid for a single thing in her entire life- if her husband decided to leave tomorrow, she'd be completely broke and have absolutely no way to support herself.

Frannie clearly knows it's a dig at her, but she doesn't take the bait. Quinn's a little disappointed actually, but she finds something else to latch onto when her sister says, "Are you sure you this isn't just you wanting to play mommy?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, I get it. Kids are great, and I can understand how you'd feel the need to mother, especially after everything you went through as a teenager." It drives her insane that no one in her family can say the word pregnancy or adoption- that twelve years later, it's _still _basically a Fabray curse word. "But Quinn, this isn't your responsibility."

"I never said that it was. I _know _it's not my-"

"You could meet someone and have children of your _own _someday. Children that are… more normal."

Quinn literally can't respond to that right away. She sits in shock for a good fifteen seconds before she finally manages to get out, "What the hell does _that _mean? More _normal?"_

"You know, that there's nothing wrong with."

"Do you even hear yourself right now?" She's honestly in shock. She knew her sister was a bitch, but she didn't realize she was _that _terrible. "There is nothing _wrong _with Jake. He's more normal than your kids will ever be- at least he doesn't operate like a brain-dead robot!"

She's insulting her nieces. It's crossing a line she doesn't want to cross, and she honestly feels terrible saying it. She just can't help it because she's so furious that people, especially her own flesh and blood, can be so small-minded and horrible. She wishes she could say she's surprised, but she can't. It's just… She can't even believe it.

Frannie's mad, and even though Quinn tries to apologize, she won't hear any of it. She hangs up after telling Quinn that she deserves to be miserable and that she will never find anyone to actually love her because she's a terrible human being.

It should be easier to care…

…

She's finding it way too easy to domesticate herself into the Evanses' life.

She starts going to church with them basically every Sunday, and she becomes a regular fixture at Sunday dinner. She's already a regular fixture at Sam's, and it's not even a question anymore as to whether she'll be coming over on any given day. They eat dinner at her house occasionally, but it's generally much easier to just do everything at Sam's. It keeps Jake on his schedule, and after nine o'clock, they're basically free to do whatever they want.

Still, they're very much keeping everything quiet for the time being.

As far as Quinn knows, his parents still think she's just an old friend, and they are always very careful to keep things hidden from Jake. Sam says he doesn't want to confuse him, and she gets that. Honestly, she's not even sure what they would tell him anyway- she's not even sure what they're actually doing. They're together a lot, they go out sometimes, and they're having sex regularly, but she hasn't actually put it into the thought process of whether this is her boyfriend or whether he's something else.

For what it's worth, Sam seems equally confused.

"I just don't really know how to explain it to him," he says one night while they're watching TV after Jake's in bed. They've been talking about it a little bit- nothing major, but enough to apparently get Sam thinking. "I've never actually… like _dated _anyone." She just stares at him. They don't talk about their past relationships- or at least she doesn't talk about hers. Apparently he doesn't have any to talk about. But that's just crazy… "I mean since Julia." He adds this like she couldn't surmise that he has, in fact, dated in the past based on his son's existence.

She's leaning with her back against the armrest of the sofa and her calves draped across his knees. He's tracing a finger over her ankle bone, and it's honestly difficult not to be distracted. Still, she teases him a little bit. "I thought being a single dad was supposed to be good for getting you laid."

He kind of looks at her from underneath his lashes, and she can see just a hint of a smirk at the corners of his mouth. "Doesn't mean any of them stick around…"

She knows he's exaggerating. Maybe not about the women not sticking around part, but definitely about the insinuation that it's easy for him to sleep with a lot of people. Honestly, it probably _is_ easy, but he doesn't. She knows this because he's still very unsure of himself when it comes to sex. He's not bad by any means, and honestly, his self-consciousness is kind of endearing. But he's constantly asking her if things feel good and urging her to tell him if he should do something differently or do something else entirely. It's cute how he's so eager to please on top of being so obviously nervous and unsure of himself. It's a nice change from all the men she's slept with who have thought they were some sort of sex gods with magical penises.

"Seriously, though?" She sits up a little straighter, and he stills his hand, wrapping it around her ankle instead. "She was your last girlfriend?"

Sam shrugs one shoulder and looks down at her feet. "It's kind of hard. With Jake and everything."

"Did you love her?"

It's inappropriate and really not her place to ask. But it just kind of comes out, and she's not surprised when he looks at her with a slightly raised eyebrow. She almost apologizes and tells him to forget it, but then he answers.

"I was young. I thought I did. I _think _I did. But I think it's really easy to fall in love with someone who has your baby, you know?"

She has a quick flashback to two days after Beth was born, when she was in desperate need of affirmation that she was doing the right thing. It'd seemed important then to ask Puck if he loved her, but she's not really sure now why she needed to know so badly.

"Does Jake ever ask about her?"

"He has. He doesn't really talk about it now, but he's asked before."

"What do you tell him?" She knows she sounds nosy, but she's curious.

"He asked my mom first. She told him Jesus needed her in heaven, so she had to go away." His voice drops a little, and she knows she's making him uncomfortable. She doesn't mean to, so she puts her feet back on the ground and sits up so that she play with his ear a little bit. She tries to do it as nonchalantly as possible, hoping it makes him a little less edgy. "I guess we'll just stick with that until he starts asking more questions…"

She lets her hand slide backwards a little bit until it's in his hair. He just had it cut last week, so it's a little shorter than normal in the back, and it feels different between her fingers. She just plays with it for a little while until he randomly gets up. For a second she's afraid that she's honestly upset him or offended him, but he comes back a minute later with something in his hand.

"That's her." He hands her a picture of a blonde girl and a baby. She looks very young, but obviously she _is _very young. "That was the week before she died."

Quinn looks at it. The girl in the picture is very pretty and looks like a typical sorority girl. She has slightly too much eye makeup and obvious fresh highlights in perfectly curled hair. All of that is off-set, though, by the fact that she's obviously very naturally attractive and, more importantly, by the chubby-cheeked baby grabbing at her nose. It's very weird to look at this girl and think that this was one of, or possibly _the, _last picture she ever took. She was so _young. _Nineteen is way too young to die, nineteen is still just a child.

Whenever she looks at Jake, Quinn sees mini-Sam, but looking at Julia's picture, she can see where he obviously has some of her features as well. It's so strange, just thinking how different all of their lives would be right now if that car accident never happened. Julia would still be alive, Jake would still have his hearing. Sam would have had a chance to finish school and wouldn't be struggling as a single parent. It's hard to believe that one swerve off a road can change all of that. She was in a horrible wreck of her own when she was seventeen, but through some help from God and a lot of self-determination, she was okay. Still, it was horrible on her mother and all of her friends- she can't imagine what the people who loved Julia must have gone through. She can't imagine what _Sam _must have gone through, having his whole world turned completely upside down and changed forever.

She decides not to bring it up again.

…

She has a terrible day at work, complete with an accidentally missed meeting, a pissed off boss, and an angry phone call from one of the marketing directors at a sister museum. It's awful, and all she wants to do is go home and curl up and sulk.

It's funny that she thinks "home" and visualizes someone else's living room.

She grabs pizza after she leaves, not particularly caring whether or not it's on Sam's diet this week. She knows he had to work a couple of extra hours, and she really doesn't think he's going to argue if she shows up with an excuse not to cook or worry about dinner.

He opens the door before she has a chance to knock, and when he sees the pizza box in her hands, he grabs her by the elbow and pulls her inside to kiss her. It's a long kiss and a little pushier than usual. She doesn't actually mind because she likes kissing him, but it's still not a very normal sort of greeting, at least not unless he's alone.

"Where's Jake?" she asks when he finally stops kissing her and takes the pizza from her. She follows him into the kitchen and leans against the counter where he places the box.

"In his room. Grounded." He rolls his eyes, and Quinn can tell he's obviously had just as crappy of a day as he has.

"What? Why?"

"He got in trouble at school. Apparently he decided today that he didn't have to do any work or do anything that anybody told him."

Quinn's a little surprised by that, mostly because she's never seen Jake be anything but sweet. Sometimes he's a little less than sweet, but she's never actually seen him be _bad. _

"Yeah," he goes on, shaking his head. "So I got a call at work letting me know that he apparently does whatever the hell he wants now. Then he got in trouble at my parents', too, because my dad picked him up since I worked later. And he obviously decided he was going to _continue _being a little badass, but you know my dad… doesn't really have much patience for that kind of stuff. So he probably won't be acting like _that _again anytime soon. At least not around my dad. But yeah." He rolls his eyes again. "Fun times."

His dad _is _strict, or at least he was on Sam. Quinn remembers that clearly. She'd never seen anyone jump up and do whatever their parents said as quickly as Sam always did. Honestly, she'd never even heard _yes, sir _or _no, ma'am _used in a non-facetious way until she met Sam. He had a strict curfew and a million rules, and any breaking to any of that would land him in immediate trouble At first, she found it more than a little weird, but it became just one of many things she eventually envied him for.

After all, her own parents never disciplined her a day in her life until they kicked her out of the house for being pregnant.

…

She overhears two teenagers talking about Sam during one of the Little League games.

One of them must be an older sister of one of the kids, but Quinn doesn't recognize either of them. They obviously don't recognize her, either, or they might realize that she's been coming to these games with Sam and Jake for weeks now. So either they don't know that, or they just don't care.

They talk about how hot he is and call him a DILF, and she almost laughs because it sounds so stupid and childish coming out of a teenager's mouth. But it's not like it's wrong. He kind of _is. _

She's still not a huge fan of baseball, but she's actually starting to kind of love this. Jake's back into everything full swing, showing no fear whatsoever after his injury. The stitches are gone, but he's still sporting the outline of a bruise on his forehead and around his left eye, and there's a light pink scar where the ball hit. But just like a true boy, he spends more time admiring his new scar than he does basically anything else. And getting his head cracked open hasn't done anything at all to deter him playing.

Quinn doesn't bother biting back her smile when he manages to hit a homerun and runs straight to Sam after tagging home. They're both super happy with huge smiles, and Jake practically takes a flying leap to jump up and hug his dad.

The teenagers behind her squeal a little bit at the cuteness, and while Quinn agrees with the sentiment, she doesn't actually squeal. Instead, she has a slightly terrifying thought that she could honestly fall in love with this.

…

She has the same epiphany later that night when she's in his bed.

They're just lying there, killing a little bit of time before she has to leave. It may be Saturday, but that doesn't change the fact that she has to go home and sleep in her own bed, even if she _will _just be coming back in the morning. It's the right thing to do right now because neither one of them want Jake to start asking questions or be confused.

Sam's kissing her neck, not sucking on it or anything overt- just barely brushing his lips over it while she twirls some of her hair around her index finger and tries not to be too distracted by how warm he feels pressed up against her like that.

"Do you still play guitar?" She asks it quietly, mostly because they're so close and she doesn't need to raise her voice any louder than this- also because she's a little heady, and it's not her fault that her voice is slightly breathy.

Sam stops kissing her and looks up at her for a moment before he lets his head drop next to hers on the pillow. They're face to face, and he's even closer now than he was a second ago. "Sometimes. When I have time."

"Does it bother you that Jake can't hear music?"

Sometimes she's nervous about asking things like that, but he never seems annoyed with her. Right now, though, she feels so close to him that she doesn't even feel awkward posing the question.

His eyes dart down her face and then back up to her own. She wonders if he knows how beautiful he is. "He can hear it other ways."

She knows what he's talking about, though. Jake can "listen" to things in ways that don't necessarily involve his ears. He pays attention to a lot of vibrations, and it's not at all unusual for him to put a hand over someone's mouth or throat when they're talking so that he can "hear" the sounds that new words make. It amazes her that he can copy those sounds by mimicking the vibrations. He's not an exceptionally strong speaker yet, but he's still very young. The fact that he can do any of it is beyond impressive.

"Remember when you tried to teach me how to play?"

He smiles at her, a lazy, semi-tired smile that she's gotten pretty used to. "Yeah."

"I wish I'd let you." He tried to teach her multiple times, but she always found some reason to ignore him or found something else to distract her. She can't for the life of her figure out what was so important back then that she couldn't appreciate something so simple, but there's a lot about her past that she no longer makes sense of.

"I can still teach you."

She shrugs a little bit and pushes some hair away from his forehead. "Probably too late for me. But maybe you can teach Jake."

He smiles again. "That'd be cool."

She kisses him then, mostly just because she wants to. She's still slightly heady, but it's okay. He's a really good kisser.

"I love the way you smell." He's mumbling, and his voice is muffled because he's got his nose back to her neck, and she can feel his lips there again.

There's so much about all of this that she could get used to.

…

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far- you guys are great! One more part of this, I think? Hope you're enjoying it!


	4. Chapter 4

**YOU WON'T FIND HEART AND SOUL IN THE STARS**

**Part 4**

…

It almost feels like a trick, but Quinn's too caught off-guard to really make a call one way or the other.

She gets caught alone with his mother while they're baking cupcakes for a school bake sale. They aren't initially alone because this is Sam's thing, and he's definitely there between them for most of the afternoon. It's true that his mother is doing most of the baking, but he's at least there attempting to help. And Quinn's standing around being mostly useless, but she does her best to at least _look _busy. But then Jake comes in from the backyard with grass-stained clothes and a busted up knee that's dripping blood all over the kitchen floor. For what it's worth, he's not crying, and he seems more interested in the cupcakes than anything else. But it still looks pretty bad, and it's clearly not sanitary to have fresh blood all over the same kitchen where there's mass baking, so Sam takes him to clean it up and bandage it or whatever it is you're supposed to do for busted knees.

Mary's working on icing one batch of cupcakes while another bakes in the oven, and Quinn moves to take over the dish washing that Sam just abandoned. "I honestly don't know how boys make it into adulthood alive," Mary rolls her eyes. "Stacy _never _got hurt. The worst she ever did was slam her finger in the car door once or twice. The boys got hurt _every day. _I'm surprised we didn't get arrested for child abuse when Sam was a little- the amount of money we spent on ER bills could have put both the other two through college."

Quinn believes this. Sam _is _clumsy. To be an athlete, he has possibly the least amount of actual coordination she's ever seen in a person. Once when they were teenagers, she saw him literally just fall backwards off the auditorium stage- one second he was standing still at the edge, and the next he was flat on his back on the floor below. It was actually kind of scary for a couple of seconds because he hit the floor hard, and he possibly knocked himself out for a good thirty seconds. The way he fell could have seriously hurt his back or his neck, and everybody froze when it happened and then ran over all at once to make sure he was okay. He was, but it was crazy. He's the only person she's ever met who can apparently hurt themselves by doing nothing but standing still.

(All of this was followed up with a rather large bruise on his ass that he forced her to look at. It was the first time she ever saw his butt, and he tried to be smooth and invoke sympathy by telling her how much it hurt and asking if she could rub it. She didn't. Instead, she smacked him across the head and told him he was a dumbass.)

She's pulled out of her momentary flashback when Mary says, "And for the record, I don't know why you two are still pretending to be just friends, but it's not really working."

Quinn has no idea how talk of clumsy boys segues into _that, _but she's too shocked to do much of anything besides just stare at the plastic bowl in her hand that she's holding mid-dry.

"Don't worry," Mary laughs a little bit. "I gave birth to that boy, I can read his mind. You might be doing a better job hiding it from other people."

Quinn's first instinct is to deny it. After all, they mutually decided not to tell people, so if she confirms it, she's going to be betraying that. To his _mother _of all people. Still, Mary knows. She doesn't sound the least bit uncertain, and Quinn's not really sure what purpose lying about it would serve. Even if she denies it, Mary's not going to believe her.

"We just…" Her voice trails off because she's not even sure what she's trying to get at. It's as good as a confirmation, though, because Mary smiles a little bit and shakes her head.

"It's not my business." Quinn can tell that she _absolutely _feels it's her business. "I just wanted to give you a heads up that it's not as much of a secret as you might think."

"He hasn't told Jake yet." At the moment, that seems like the most important aspect of the entire situation.

"Jake knows, too." Quinn's shock must show on her face because Mary is quick to clarify. "He told his teacher that his dad has a girlfriend, and she asked me about it. I think he's seen you kissing more than once."

Quinn's embarrassed, though she's not really sure why. There's nothing wrong with kissing, but she still feels like she's been caught doing something wrong. Mary is smiling, though, so it's obvious that she doesn't mind the fact that they're unknowingly corrupting her grandson.

"He's kind of sneaky. I'm surprised Sam didn't know better."

"Sorry we didn't tell you," she's not sure why she's apologizing. "It's just new and everything."

It's not _that _new, and she can tell that Mary's thinking basically the same thing. She doesn't say it, though- she just smiles again and scoops out some more icing for her decorating bag. "Sam's been through a lot of tough stuff. He deserves something good. He's a good person." She shrugs one shoulder. "Maybe I'm biased."

She may be, but that doesn't make it any less true. Sam _is _a good person- it's actually something she struggles with. He's kind of one of the best people she's ever known, like one of the few truly _nice _people she's met in her life. _She's_ kind of a bitch. She's not really sure she deserves him. She's _never _really been too sure about that.

She doesn't get a chance to think about it anymore because Sam and Jake show back up, and Jake heads straight for the already iced cupcakes but has his hand intercepted right before he makes contact. He looks like he's about to protest, but then he giggles when he sees that his grandmother is actually getting him one ready, just putting it in a bowl to eat with a fork apparently. Sam's got his arms locked behind his back, and Jake struggles to get free and then laughs when he just gets pulled tighter. Quinn doesn't even know how they do it, but somehow, Jake manages to get both feet off the ground with enough of a kick that he basically flips himself over backwards, one foot just narrowly missing Sam's nose who dodges it at the right moment. Both of Jake's feet end up on the front of Sam's shoulders, and he pretty much walks himself up until Sam drops one of his arms at the last second and grabs an ankle instead, causing Jake to scream and then laugh as he falls backwards over his dad's shoulder.

"Oh, my lord, be careful!" Mary looks at them (mostly at Sam) like he's crazy, and maybe he is because the only thing preventing his son from landing head-first on the tile is the fact that he's got him hanging loosely over his shoulder, literally secured by one ankle. Jake doesn't seem too concerned because he's still giggling and reaching blindly for the floor with his shirt completely flipped over his head until Sam finally gives him enough slack to reach it. Then it's all over in what's almost the end of a perfect back walkover.

Sam also doesn't seem too concerned when Jake opens up one of the bottom cabinets and climbs first on one shelf and then on the actual _door _in his quest to get a seat on the counter. Quinn's not really concerned, either, because she's literally seem him do that exact move a hundred times by now. The only adult who apparently registers the danger in balancing on a _cabinet door _is Mary, who grabs him around the waist and just sits him in his desired spot as she kicks the cabinet door closed with one foot. She shakes her head at him as she hands him his bowl, and he promptly ignores her in lieu of chocolate cake.

"This is what I was talking about with boys," Mary says in Quinn's direction. "See how I'm shocked that they make it out alive?" Sam looks confused, and his mother clarifies for him. "I was just telling Quinn that you were a clumsy daredevil idiot when you were little." He smiles a little bit, but it drops when she says, "And I was also telling her that you two aren't fooling anyone, so you can stop trying."

She goes straight back to icing the cupcakes, and it takes Sam like five seconds to look over at Quinn. She just shrugs, and he rolls his eyes.

It's apparently official.

…

Things don't change much after that.

It's nice to know that they're not hiding some big secret from his family or whatever, but it's not like it really changes the way they interact around them. They certainly don't immediately start engaging in PDA wherever they feel like it. Everything is basically just the same as it was before, and she's even more thankful that his family doesn't make a big deal out of it. Nobody even really mentions it, which makes her happy because she hates feeling uncomfortable.

Sam talks to Jake, and it's not nearly as dramatic as they might have imagined it would be. It's true that Jake apparently already knows, and according to Sam, he's mostly disinterested. He doesn't ask too many questions or seem too confused about anything. He obviously understands the concept of dating, at least on its outer edges, and he doesn't throw some gigantic tantrum or anything like Quinn's seen on some Lifetime movies when Mommy or Daddy's previously undivided attention is suddenly divided. They're still extra careful around him, though, because he's apparently seen them kissing when they didn't realize it, and they certainly don't need him seeing anything more than that.

It's a little weird because his family's assumption that they're dating is basically the first confirmation that either of them have that they _are _actually dating. Quinn's always wary of making things official, and if she were betting, she'd guess that Sam was wary of whatever might make _her _wary. Luckily, though, this saves them from having to have any awkward conversations about what they are or what they're doing. And when they're at Starbucks and run into one of his clients from the gym, Sam introduces her as his girlfriend, and it doesn't even freak her out.

That probably says more than anything else.

…

The first time she wakes up with him, she's a little disoriented and doesn't register it right away.

They're in her bed, which isn't very common. The vast majority of the time that they're in bed together takes place at his house. But Jake's with his grandparents for the whole weekend, and even though Sam insisted on taking her out for a more expensive than necessary dinner, he didn't seem to mind going back to her condo for dessert.

It feels nice, though, waking up and feeling someone beside her.

It's been awhile since her last breakup, and she and Sam have purposely been avoiding this particular situation during the time that they've been together. Even on the nights when they didn't have Jake to worry about, they still never actually _slept _together. So this is different, and it's nice. And she really can't get over how damn near perfect he looks lying in her bed.

She never pays much attention to his back. She's very familiar with his abs, having always appreciated them tremendously. Now that she gets to see them and touch them on a regular basis, they're actually kind of becoming her favorite thing. She hasn't paid as much attention to his back, though, for whatever reason. But from this angle, she's really not sure why she hasn't… He's still asleep, lying on his stomach with his head facing away from her, and she takes the time to really look at it. The cover is down past his waist, and just like his stomach, his back is defined by long lines of muscle- obviously not to the same extent, but it's still very impressive.

"Why are you staring at me?" His voice is muffled and obviously sleepy, but she's mostly just shocked to hear it at all.

"How did you know that?"

"I have a kid. I have eyes in the back of my head."

She wants to laugh, but she doesn't. Instead, she deadpans, "Is that why your kid apparently spies on us, and you have no idea?"

He rolls over and looks at her through one eye. His other is scrunched shut for a few seconds before he opens it. "Hi."

She smiles. "Hey."

They just lay there for a minute and look at each other. It's weird how comfortable it is, even in total silence. Or maybe it's not weird at all.

It's Saturday, and they both have to go to work. She can't really make herself remember that, though, when he puts a hand on her hip and drags her over to his side of the bed. She can't put into real words how much she likes the fact that all he does is kiss her cheek and then close his eyes again. She doesn't even know what time it is, but she can't think of any real reason why they shouldn't just fall back to sleep.

And falling asleep like this is much easier than it should be.

…

"Was it hard to learn sign language?"

She's cutting up a tomato while Sam works on making hamburger patties out of ground turkey for the grill. He doesn't look over when he says, "Yeah, kind of."

It's not exactly what she wants to hear, but it's also not surprising in the least. She studied French in college, and it wasn't easy by any means. She doesn't imagine any new languages actually are. "I'd like to learn some of it."

He does look over at that, and she's not really sure what the expression on his face means. He looks vaguely at a loss for a second, but there's something pleasant behind his eyes. "Really?"

She nods. It's something she's been thinking about for awhile. She's picked up on a lot of the basics- just the everyday common words- but it's still not enough for her to actually understand much of what's being said. It's hard for her to talk to Jake if Sam's not around to translate because even though he can usually understand what she's saying, she doesn't really understand his answers too often.

"I just think it'd be nice. To at least know a little."

"There's a class at Jake's school that's one or two nights a week. I don't think the next session starts until fall, but you could do that. Or there might be another program somewhere else, I'm not sure."

"You think it would help?"

Sam nods and finally goes back to the burgers. "Yeah, that's the class we took when Jake was a baby. It's pretty good. But we have books and stuff if you just wanted to start teaching yourself. And there's lots of stuff on the Internet." He finishes the last of the patties and sets them on a plate to take outside. "I can help you if you want."

"Is it hard, though? Aren't there a lot of words that there aren't signs for?"

"Some," he shrugs. "You just find a different word that means the same thing." He grabs a paper towel to wipe his hands and smiles at her. "Maybe it's a good thing. I don't there's any way to say Trouty Mouth in sign language, so at least he'll never have to hear that one."

She laughs because he's so dumb but also because he's a little bit right. Jake is on the small side of seven- skinny and a little short for his age. Even still, he definitely has a larger than average mouth that he obviously came by naturally- there's no way of denying that.

They take the burgers out back to the grill. It's late-May, and it's already pretty warm. Even though it's still technically spring, it feels like perfect grilling out weather. Quinn leans against the porch rail while Sam works on getting the grill lit. The backyard is shared with the other people in the duplex, and Jake is toward the back by the swing-set with one of the kids from next door. They're digging at something in the dirt, and neither one of them pay Sam or Quinn any attention when they come out.

Sam gets everything lit and starts placing the patties to cook. She thinks he looks kind of sexy. Like all men, he thinks he needs a beer in one hand if he's going to be at a grill, and he looks completely at ease barefoot in a baseball cap, shorts, and a t-shirt that's too tight (and therefore, just right). He's already got a thin line of sweat at the back of his neck, and Quinn's pretty sure that if she doesn't stop looking, she's going to do something that will definitely result in burning their dinner.

Jake runs up a little later with a plastic cup in his hand and the little boy from next door right behind him. Both the kids are _filthy, _but they're both grinning in that way that only kids ever amuse themselves. The other little boy- Quinn's pretty sure his name is Devin- says, "Look!" and grabs Jake's arm to help shove the cup under Sam's nose.

Sam looks in it and laughs a little bit. "Awesome, dude." He fist bumps both boys, and Quinn's curiosity is fulfilled a second later when Jake shoves the cup at her to look in as well.

"Gross!" There's the longest, fattest worm she's ever seen swirling around some dirt in the bottom. It's definitely not _awesome- _it's disgusting. All three males laugh at her, though, and she glares at them all before she pushes Jake away and rolls her eyes.

It's nice to know that even though they get bigger, boys stay boys until the day they die.

…

She rethinks that a couple of days later when Sam drags her into the shower after they get home from soccer practice.

Jake's been passed out since they left the field, and Sam carries him inside and drops him on top of his bed to finish his nap. Then he grabs Quinn's hand and pulls her into the bathroom before immediately dragging her dress up her body and over her head. She's not really used to this because he's usually very traditional and slow-going with everything, and he really doesn't ever do anything like this in the middle of the afternoon when Jake could wake up at any given moment. But maybe that explains the rush.

He must notice the question in her eyes because he says, "I've just been thinking about you all day…" and pulls her into the shower when they're both undressed.

It's hard to think of him as anything childish about when he's like this. He somehow loses all hint of boy when he's got her against the shower tile and is kissing her so roughly that her head's spinning a little bit. No, he's one-hundred percent man when he's like this, gorgeous and strong and totally focused on her.

All of it's a little overwhelming.

…

Her mother's fiftieth birthday is coming up, and her husband calls Quinn and asks if she'd like to join them for dinner.

Her mother's been married to Roger for almost six years now, but Quinn still doesn't refer to him as her stepfather, at least not when she thinks about it. If she speaks about him, it's a different story because stepfather is easier than saying 'my mother's husband,' but in her own mind, he's never actually reached that level.

She likes him just fine. Or at least she doesn't mind him. He's nice and polite, and he puts up with her mother and takes care of her the way she thinks she deserves to be taken care of. Quinn can't fault him for any of that. She's not really sure where her issue stems from, but it's probably based more on the fact that he's just an extension of her mother, and despite the fact that Quinn has made many efforts over the years to forgive and forget, there is still some level of resentment that she holds from her childhood. No, she doesn't _hate _her mother. She loves her, but it's very difficult to like her sometimes. Still, she _is _her mother, and because of that, Quinn agrees to the birthday dinner.

It takes strategic planning to get Sam to agree to join her, but she manages it.

She even tells him that Jake should come along, and Sam finally gives in because she pulls out all the stops and basically leaves him no choice. She tells Roger that she'll join them for dinner and that she'll be bringing her boyfriend and his son. Quinn's already told her mother about Sam, so Roger doesn't seem surprised. And to be fair, her mother liked Sam a lot when they were younger- certainly more than she ever liked any other boy Quinn dated. Of course, a lot of that was based solely on religion. Finn was borderline atheist on some days and basically agnostic on the rest. Puck had a number of strikes against him, but his Judaism was definitely one of the ones at the top of the list. Sam, though, was in church all the time, and although technically raised Southern Baptist, he was still close enough to her mother's WASP ideal to meet with approval. It also didn't hurt that he was by far the most polite and respectful person (male or female) that Quinn had _ever _brought home. And the fact that he was extremely conventionally attractive didn't hurt his case, either. Sometimes she would get sentimental and say, "You can just tell that boy's been raised right," which was laughable even then because it was obvious to Quinn that her mother was far from an authority on raising children.

But still, she liked Sam then, and there's a part of Quinn that can't help hoping she still feels the same.

…

They don't have to go all the way to Lima for dinner. Instead, they all agree to meet halfway in Dayton. There are some nice restaurants there, and it's not as if this is an actual party anyway- it's just going to be the five of them.

From the moment she gets in the car, though, she can tell it's not going to be a good day.

Sam looks tired and a little annoyed, and Jake's in the back with an annoyed look on his face and won't even look up from his Gameboy to acknowledge her. Sam leans over to kiss her after she pulls the door closed, and she asks what's wrong because she can tell something's up.

"Just a bad day."

She finds out on the way that they've been arguing all day and that Jake's just been in a bad mood since the moment he woke up. She can tell just by looking at him that he's not happy, and she can tell just by looking at Sam that he's tired and at his wit's end. So yes, it's not starting out to be a great day.

Roger and her mother are already at the restaurant by the time they arrive. It's an expensive steakhouse that Quinn can already tell is going to be ridiculously overpriced. They all do the mandatory greetings and everything when they get there- Quinn hugs her mother and Roger even though she feels a little awkward. Her mother hugs Sam like it hasn't been ten plus years since she last saw him. He's polite and smiles and introduces himself to Roger.

Then Quinn watches in mild horror as her mother bends down to the smallest member of their party and says in an obnoxiously loud voice, "And you must be Jake."

She's instantly embarrassed and wants to hiss at her mother that yelling does not magically make Jake hear better. Jake, though, just nods a little shyly and moves closer to Sam who quickly fingerspells both of the strangers' names and then grabs the Gameboy Jake managed to smuggle out of the car. He quickly unlocks the car again and throws it back in through the driver's seat before handing the keys to Quinn and as they all head into the restaurant for their reservation.

It's just as pretentious and annoying as Quinn feared it would be. Roger starts out by ordering the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu, which is ridiculously overpriced and not even that impressive. Quinn wants to order something else just to be a bitch, but she doesn't. She can drink the cabernet just to keep the peace. Maybe if they all get drunk this dinner won't be as painful as she imagines. And with her mother at the table, there are at _least two _full bottles to be emptied. Quinn orders one of the more expensive cuts because she figures if Roger is apparently set on impressing everyone with his wealth, she might as well take advantage of it. Sam, on the other hand, orders chicken for himself and a shrimp appetizer for Jake after insisting that he won't eat more than that anyway. Quinn knows he only does this because these items are "cheap" compared to the rest of the menu, even though she knows he's going to make every attempt to either take the entire check or at least pay for their parts. They all know Roger will pay, though- it's part of the act, and everyone knows their parts.

She asks her mother how it feels to be fifty, mostly just to antagonize her because she knows it must be killing her to be half a century old. She gets the annoyed eye narrowing that she expects, and Roger laughs like it's all a big joke. Maybe he thinks it is, and Quinn smiles like she's in on it even though both she and her mother know she's serious. She makes more small talk, being as backhandedly rude as she can manage, and her mother continues to appease her, feigning stupidity or naivety or something because there's no way she's going to rise to the bait and actually show something real.

But then Quinn notices trouble brewing from the corner of her eye. Jake's got this really angry look on his face and is signing something really quickly. Sam looks halfway pissed as well and signs something back with an equally stern look of his own. He's being silent, probably in an attempt to not draw attention to whatever argument is happening. Jake answers back just as quickly and starts shaking his head, and then Sam grabs his hands to, Quinn supposes, effectively shut him up. That's when it's just over, and Jake obviously can't take it anymore or something because his head drops forward onto the table, causing everything on it to rattle momentarily, and then he just starts crying.

Quinn's a little shocked, but Sam's obviously more shocked. Or maybe shocked isn't the right word- he looks mortified and clearly embarrassed. But when he tries to get Jake to sit up and just gets shrugged off, he finally says, "Excuse me," and pushes his own chair back from the table, mumbling an embarrassed apology. He grabs Jake's elbow and takes him away from the table. Quinn's a little surprised Jake goes without much of a fight when it's obvious he's in trouble, but maybe he just knows better. He's still crying rather loudly, and most everyone in the restaurant is staring. When they're out of sight, the spectators turn their attention back to the offending table. Quinn just pushes her hair behind her ear and sits up a little straighter, pretending not to be phased, even though she is a little embarrassed.

Quinn looks at her mother who mostly just has a confused look on her face, not the completely mortified expression Quinn is expecting. She's honestly a little surprised when the only thing that comes out of her mother's mouth is, "What's wrong with him?"

"He's having a bad day." It's as good an explanation as any, mostly because Quinn doesn't know what else to say. As far as she can tell, that's literally the extent of the reason.

"Well, the poor thing is probably just frustrated! He can't hear a word any of us are saying."

Quinn can't help it- she rolls her eyes. "Mother, you do realize he can't hear anything, right? He's never been able to hear anything for as long as he can remember. This is certainly not the first time he's been around a group of people who are talking."

"Well, it's still got to be awful!"

To be fair, her mother is probably just being her own version of nice. To Quinn, though, it's annoying, as so many things about her mother are. "And by the way, screaming at him doesn't make him anything more than he already does. Which is _nothing. _You can just speak to him normally. If he understands, he does. If he doesn't, he'll let you know."

Her mother looks maybe at a loss for words, possibly like she's embarrassed that her own child is being so short with her. But it's ridiculous. She once tried the same tactic with Maria, the Mexican housekeeper they employed for a month before she got deported. Quinn was only ten, but she remembers that her mother apparently assumed that speaking as loudly and slowly as possible somehow made, "The baseboards need to be dusted," easier for a Spanish speaker to understand.

Quinn is confused. She's honestly never seen Jake behave like that, so it _is _a little surprising. At seven, he's past the point where temper tantrums are the norm, and even though she's seen him get a little attitude occasionally, it's never really been to this extent. The only time she's actually see him cry was when he got hit by the baseball. So all of this is a little new.

Sam and Jake don't come back for awhile, and finally Quinn excuses herself to go check on them. Mostly she just wants to make sure that they're not _both _in tears and that they haven't killed each other or something because clearly they're both frustrated. She doesn't see them anywhere in the restaurant lobby, so she goes outside where several people are waiting around for tables. She doesn't see them there, either, and she's just about to call Sam's phone when she catches a glimpse of him at the back edge of the building.

When she gets back there, she finds him leaning against the corner. Jake's on the ground a few feet away. He's got his back to the wall with his knees pulled up and his arms over them- his head is down between his arms, and even though he's not doing that loud crying anymore, Quinn can look at him and tell that he's still struggling to get himself completely under control. When Sam sees her, he still looks embarrassed.

"I'm sorry."

She shrugs like it's no big deal and wraps an arm around his waist. "What's going on?"

"We were going to go to the car, but the keys are in your purse. So this is as far away as we could get."

She laughs a little bit and leans into him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Except we're ruining your mom's birthday. She must think he's the devil or something."

"My mom raised my sister, so she can't really pass judgment." He laughs, and she smiles. "And she's probably glad somebody distracted everyone from the fact that she's officially old as hell."

"She's not _old."_

"Fifty is old."

"She still looks good." Quinn immediately pulls back enough to shoot him a look. He just laughs and shrugs a little bit. "What? That's really good news for you."

"That's disgusting."

"What? I didn't say I wanted to _sleep _with her, I just said she _looks _good."

Quinn smacks his arm for even mentioning the words _sleep with _in regards to her mother. Gross.

"Don't worry, you're way hotter than she is."

She rolls her eyes but lets him pull her around the corner just a little bit. He's got both of his hands low on her hips, and he kisses her nice and slow. It's good, but his kid's right on the other side of the corner in time out.

"How much longer does he need to sit?" she asks, pulling back and wrapping one hand around the back of his neck. "The salads should probably be coming soon."

"I think he's probably good." Sam sighs a little bit, and Quinn hangs back while he goes over to where Jake is and squats down beside him.

Jake's face is tear-stained when he looks up, but he's not crying anymore. Instead, he just nods to whatever Sam signs and honestly looks kind of pitiful. Sam signs something else, and Jake answers him and looks so sad doing it that Quinn herself wants to cry a little bit. Sam uses first his thumbs and then the heels of his hands to try and do something about the tear streaks. When it doesn't have much effect, he just helps Jake stand up, but he stays squatting for a few more seconds so that he can hug him.

Quinn can't decide if it's the saddest or the most beautiful thing she's ever seen.

Before they head back inside, though, Jake comes up to her and makes a couple of quick circular motions against his chest. Quinn knows enough of the basics to understand that he's saying, "I'm sorry." She's not really sure why he's apologizing to her, but she smiles at him and tells him it's okay before she goes to smooth down some of his out of control hair. He motions for her to come down to him, so she bends over a little, and he hugs her.

She honestly doesn't know what's going on right now, but it's the first time he's actually hugged her, and she's once again hit with the urge to cry.

…

June rolls around, and school's out for the summer.

Quinn's a little surprised to find out that Stacy's going to play nanny considering the fact she fights with Jake more than she does anything else, at least as far as Quinn can tell. Sam says it's the best option, though, because it's cheap.

"I just gotta pay her a hundred bucks a week, and she said she'll do it." Quinn doesn't think that sounds particularly cheap for a teenage sister, and Sam obviously has some qualms with it as well. "I don't really think it's fair because when _I _was seventeen, I had to spend my summer babysitting her ass for free. So I'm not really sure why I have to pay her four-hundred dollars a month, but I'm not gonna find anything cheaper."

"Doesn't she owe you anyway?"

"For not throwing her under the bus to Mom and Dad?" Sam rolls his eyes. "Yeah. She said this is her 'special rate'…"

That's bullshit considering the fact that if Sam wasn't so nice, Stacy would probably be grounded for the entire summer and have no other plans _anyway. _About a week ago, she called him at two in the morning crying from a party she wasn't supposed to be at because she couldn't find anyone sober to take her home. Yes, it was responsible of her to call, but the fact that she'd already been told _not _to go to the party in the first place is the part that would have landed her in serious trouble. She'd lied to her parents and said she was spending the night with a friend but instead went to the party. Drinking, lying, deliberately disobeying… that's the kind of stuff that would have landed Sam grounded for about six months when they were kids, and Quinn doubts the rules have changed that much in the time since then. So she's pretty sure Stacy could be a little more flexible in her 'special rate,' but it's not really her business.

Sam seems resigned to it, though. "As long as they don't actually kill each other, I guess it's not so bad."

That's probably yet to be seen.

…

Bad days are hard enough, but bad _weeks _are something else altogether.

Quinn's not sure she's ever had such a horrible work week in her life. It's just day after day of nothing going right, And by mid-afternoon on Friday, she's literally at that the point where she just wants to sit in her office and cry. And when Sam calls "just to say hi," she almost does just that. And she basically spills every single thing that's been terrible about the week even though they're all work-related and don't actually make much sense to him.

He's still at her house waiting for her when she gets home.

He hands her a half-melted milkshake and kisses the side of her head as he hugs her. She asks where Jake is, and he just kind of smiles and says, "I told Stacy I was working." That's one good thing about the arrangement- Sam's schedule is all over the place, and Stacy basically just has to deal with it and be available, even if it's a Friday night.

She sips on the milkshake (mocha-vanilla swirl, her favorite) while she changes clothes and Sam flips through the channels on her TV. She's glad he's here because all she wants to do is curl up on the sofa and hang out. It'll only be a few hours before he _has _to go home, but a few hours is better than nothing.

He grabs her hand when she gets back to the living room and pulls her down to his lap. She likes it here, and she doesn't mind admitting it. She gives him a sip of the milkshake even though she halfway expects him to refuse. He doesn't and ends up getting some of it on his chin. She could just wipe it away, but it's more fun to kiss it.

It doesn't take long, though, before she's rehashing the day and all the days leading up to it. She tells him about one particular argument with her boss that ended with him accusing her of feeling "falsely over-qualified." She's not even sure what that means, except for the fact that he obviously thinks she's stuck up and pretentious, which she's not- or at least she _tries _not to be. It's just not fair, though. She's just fed up and frustrated, and even though she likes her job, sometimes she misses her old one so much that it honestly makes her depressed. Sure, it was dead end, but it was _fun, _and people appreciated her there. At this museum, she's still just the new girl, and she's finding it very difficult to make any friends or allies.

"Sometimes I feel like I came here for nothing."

She's pouting a little bit, and her eyes are aimed more at her lap than anywhere else. She can still see Sam from the corner of her eye, though, and he's frowning. It's quite for a few seconds, and then he says, "I wish you didn't feel like that…"

She just looks at him, and it's weird that right now is one of those times when she gets distracted by his face. It happens occasionally, like right now when his eyes are dark green and serious. She doesn't say anything.

"You came here for a reason." His voice is low, still quiet despite the fact that they're the only ones here. She can tell he's nervous or uneasy or something, but he still manages to say, "For me…"

She wants to smile, but it seems too serious for that. Like the air is too thick at the moment or something. He swallows, and she notices the way his chest is moving up and down while he breathes.

"I was praying for someone. Like to meet someone… And then you came back." He's still so quiet and serious, and she watches him closely because she's pretty sure he's as close to perfection as she's ever going to see. "I think that was for a reason…"

It's sappy and sounds like something that might make her roll her eyes if she saw it on a movie or read it in a book. But right here and now, it's the best thing she's ever heard in her life. Mostly because she just knows he's telling the truth and not lying about anything. Possibly because she knows he would _never _lie to her.

And she's only a little bit scared when she realizes she believes him- it probably _was _for a reason.

…

A/N: Okay, okay, I lied. It's not over yet. Thanks so much for reviewing, you guys are awesome!


	5. Chapter 5

**YOU WON'T FIND HEART AND SOUL IN THE STARS**

**Part 5**

…

It's almost midnight when he knocks on the door, but she's been expecting him.

He's upset, and she can tell right away. She doesn't blame him because she knows it must be difficult saying goodbye to your child for a week. She knows it's even worse because Jake's been asking not to go for a month now, so she can't imagine he was too pleasant.

She knows her assumptions are right when Sam walks straight into the living room and says, "I had to leave him crying."

He looks exhausted, and she doesn't really blame him. The Fischers live in Tennessee, and it's about a four and a half hour trip each way. Sam made it down and back in one day, so it's not really surprising that he's tired.

Jake being upset probably didn't help matters.

"I'm sure he thinks I just _abandoned _him." He falls down heavily on her sofa, and she sits down beside him, pulling one knee under her as she faces him.

"No, he doesn't."

"I left him crying." He looks at her point blank like she's stupid for not understanding. "After he begged to go with me."

"He just doesn't understand-"

"Exactly!" He cuts her off. "He _doesn't _understand. All he knows is that I left him. And it's not like they can help explain it, they can't even _talk _to him!"

Quinn doesn't know what to say, so she tries to appease him with, "He probably calmed down pretty quickly. I'm sure he's fine now."

"He doesn't _know _them." He looks really irritated, so she just bites down on her lip and doesn't say anything. "And I feel like that's my fault."

"It's not. They just don't live close, so it's harder."

"_I'm _the one who moved. But I didn't know what else to do."

"Sam, you had to." She's being serious, too, because she doesn't know a ton about the situation, but she knows that he _needed _to move back with his parents after everything that happened.

"I just feel guilty. Like I know Jake doesn't really understand why he has to stay there, and even if it's just for a week, he's old enough now that I shouldn't just _make _him. But I don't know what else to do."

"Are they nice to him?"

"As far as I can tell, yeah." Sam shrugs. "But they don't know how to sign, and he can only lip-read so much. I just know he's gotta be really frustrated."

He's got his head tipped back against the top of the couch, and she can tell he's honestly upset by all of this. His face is worried and bothered, and he keeps chewing on his bottom lip. She half-expects to see blood.

"And they just hate me. And I don't even know what I ever did to them." He's started talking now, and she figures she should just let him. He's obviously upset and needs to vent, so she just sits quietly and lets him. "They always thought I was really dumb. They _still _think I'm really dumb. And I know they think I'm doing a terrible job or whatever, probably because Jake always just cries and pitches these huge fits every time I take him down there, but I'm doing the best I can."

"I'm sure they know that."

He actually rolls his eyes. "Mrs. Fischer even asked me when Jake was crying, like _are you just going to let him act like that? _I mean, what am I supposed to do? Spank him because he's crying and doesn't want to stay with people he barely knows who have no way of even communicating with him?" He looks at her like it's a real question, so she shakes her head. "He doesn't act like that when I leave him with _my _parents. It's not like he's just some spoiled brat who cries all the time to get his way or something."

"I know," and she does know. Jake _doesn't _really do that a lot, and when he _does_ melt down, it's generally the result of a lot of pent up frustration or exhaustion or just too much activity. She tries to put a positive spin on it. "It's good, though, at least he _does _get to see them sometimes."

Sam's kind of scowling when he says, "I guess." She must be looking at him questioningly because he shrugs a little bit. "I just don't know why they hate me so much."

Quinn doesn't know how anyone can look at Sam and see anything other than amazing, especially when it comes to his ability as a father. Sure, he's not perfect, and he makes mistakes just like every other parent does, but he _loves _his kid so much. And it's crazy to her that anyone would be blind to that. He does everything for Jake and is fully-involved in literally everything his son does. She thinks he deserves some kind of award or something, and she honestly doesn't know how anyone could disagree.

"I just feel so _guilty _because Jake doesn't want to be there. And I know he's so pissed at me for making him go."

"He'll be fine," she assures him. "It's only for a week. But honestly, you don't have any obligation to them, so if you both don't want him to go, why do you send him?"

Sam looks so tired, and it takes like ten seconds of him staring at the ceiling to finally answer. "Because Julia. I know she would want him to know them."

She feels a little bit awkward just like she always does whenever he talks about his old girlfriend. It's not that Quinn's jealous or anything, but she just doesn't know what she's supposed to say. It's not like a normal ex situation. Sam and Julia didn't _break up- _she _died. _They had a child together. That's a lot more than just some random college relationship, and Quinn always feels out of place in these conversations.

"They've just never liked me. And I mean, yeah, the first time they met me, I'd already knocked up their daughter, so they probably weren't thrilled. But it's like they never even gave me a _chance. _Even when she died, they acted like I didn't have any right or reason to be upset."

He's just talking now, and she wonders how long he's been bottling this up because apparently he's got quite a bit to say on the matter. But she's sure that in true Sam fashion, he's been keeping it to himself because it might even _hint _at being selfish.

"And I get it, okay? She was their child, and God," he swallows a little bit, "I can't even imagine. But she was also my girlfriend. And they acted like the fact that we'd been dating for a year and a half or had a freaking _baby _together didn't mean anything and just treated me like I was some random dude she knew. They wouldn't even let me see her in the hospital. She didn't die for almost _four days _after the accident, and they wouldn't let me see her."

She hates the fact that his eyes are watering a little bit, not because his tears are for another woman or anything like that, but just because he looks like he's in so much _pain _rehashing all of it. She can't stand to see a man cry anyway, but especially one like Sam who puts nearly all of his effort toward just being happy and positive all the time… It's heartbreaking.

"She was in a coma, and like everybody knew she wasn't going to make it. But I just wanted to _see _her, you know? I wanted to talk to her and like…" His voice trails, and he looks back at the ceiling again. "I didn't even get to tell her goodbye…"

Quinn is honestly not sure she's ever hated someone she's never even met, but right there in that moment, she feels the most intense disgust she's ever felt in her life for those people. She doesn't know how anyone could do that, no matter what the situation. And she hates them for making Sam feel like this because it's obvious that he's been sitting on it for a long time, trying hard to forgive and forget but failing anyway. It's not _fair, _and she's honestly disgusted that anyone could do this to him.

"And then literally _right after_ the funeral, her dad came up to me and told me they were hiring a lawyer and were going to take Jake. Like literally. They were putting dirt on top of his child like five feet away from where he was telling me he was going to take mine."

Quinn stares at him, almost in shock that something like that could even be real. She can't believe anyone could be so awful. "What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything. I just left." He scratches behind his ear for a second and then sighs a little bit. "I was just so tired. I was tired of fighting with them, I was just tired of everything… And back then, I just felt like I always lost everything anyway, so it almost just felt normal… It was just like the last straw or something."

"Sam…" She knows it's true, though. He had it really rough for awhile, and she doesn't doubt that he really did feel like that. He had to grow up way too fast when they were kids, and she knows it was hard. But he has to realize that all of that is what made him who he is today.

"Or I guess I _thought _it was the last straw til about six months later when an audiologist was telling me my son was probably never going to hear again. I just wanted to give up after that." He's talked about it a little bit before but never in detail. Apparently he's taking tonight as an opportunity to get everything out that's been bothering him for the past however long, so she just listens.

"I knew something was wrong with him. I _knew _it. All the doctors and everything kept saying how lucky he was after the accident because he had a crap ton of cuts but that was basically it. But then you could just tell something wasn't right… Like he wasn't copying any sounds or anything, and it was like next to impossible to get his attention if he wasn't already staring straight at you. And I just remember this one day my brother and sister were screaming at each other- I mean _screaming _at the top of their lung. And I told them to shut the hell up because I was trying to get Jake to go to sleep. But then I noticed he like wasn't even fazed by the noise. Like not at all. He was just lying there on the floor trying to eat his foot and staring at something on the ceiling." He rolls his eyes a little. "His grandparents were probably happy they didn't follow through with the custody thing after he got diagnosed."

He's got his head leaned back against the top of the sofa, and she lets hers fall beside it. "If you don't want Jake around them, you shouldn't feel any obligation. I don't think you owe them anything."

He sighs again, and she can tell how truly bothered he is by all of this. "Yeah, but I kind of owe Julia _everything."_

She doesn't say anything else.

…

She brings him to the opening of a new exhibit at the museum.

It's a formal, overly-produced party meant to double as a charity event and bring in money for the museum. She attended these sorts of things frequently at the Met, but she's never been to one in Cincinnati before. She expects it to be much of the same thing, just with different wealthy contributors. Her job is to stand around and make small talk and charm the donors with clever anecdotes about the new art pieces and how grateful the museum is to host them.

And even though she tells Sam he needs to come with her to keep her from being bored to death (partly true), she really just wants to show him off.

It's shallow, and she knows it. But she knows he looks good in a suit. More importantly, she knows they look good _together, _and she's got enough of a residual mean girl streak in her to know that looking good and having a good looking boyfriend is the best revenge possible against the women at work who still refuse to even acknowledge her presence. When they do, they're usually backhandedly rude, and she honestly doesn't know why. She's been here long enough that they shouldn't still be treating her like an outsider, but that's what it feels like. It's not like she wants a new best friend or anything, but it would be nice to at least be _friendly _with the people she works with. Oh, well. If they don't want to be nice, she'll just make them jealous instead.

Sam looks miserable and like he feels completely out of place the whole night, but looks fantastic, and she's definitely not against pointing this out. She keeps him close at hand and pretends not to notice the way those two bitches from payroll are looking at him. Inside, of course, she's thrilled, and she drops his hand to instead pretend like she's pushing some of his hair back into place. When he looks at her, she smiles as widely as she can and kisses him lightly on the cheek, careful not to get any lipstick on him. Then she twists their hands together again, and he pulls her a little closer, which just adds to the full effect. _Technically, _she supposes she's using him a little bit, but she doesn't really think it counts since he _is _her boyfriend.

One of the best things about Sam (besides basically everything) is the fact that even though he puts on an over-exaggerated act of confidence and bravado, he's actually not like that at all. He's always been unaware for the most part that he's really that attractive. He jokes about it, but he doesn't believe it. And he'd honestly probably be shocked if he realized how many people check him out on a daily basis. She's not going to tell him, of course, because she likes having him all to herself.

No one ever said she wasn't selfish.

…

Sam has to go back to Tennessee to get Jake on Sunday, and this time Quinn tags along.

She didn't go last time because Sam said it might be awkward or disrespectful, but apparently rehashing all the bad things the other night makes him less eager to please, and he asks if she wants to go with him. She doesn't have any plans, so she says sure, and they set out on a mini road trip.

She's never been to Tennessee before, but it looks basically like she expects. There's a lot of green on all sides of the interstate, and she doesn't actually see much life until they get into Nashville. The Fischers live in a little town south of there, so they have to drive straight through the city to get there. She can't tell much from the bypass, but it's also just what she expects. There are tons of billboards for radio stations and signs everywhere for all sorts of famous country music spots. At one point, Sam tells her which exit will take her to The Grand Ole Opry- it doesn't mean much to her, as she's never been a huge fan of country music, but apparently it's a pretty big deal.

"So did you live anywhere around here?"

"No, I didn't actually grow up _in _Nashville, just outside of it. But it's in the other direction."

"Do you miss it?"

"Yeah. Everybody is way nicer here. And the food's better." She laughs, and he smiles a little.

The Fischers seem to live about fifty miles from society, but it's probably only more like five. They have a nice house on what appears to be a lot of land, and Quinn wonders what they do for a living- or did, she has no idea if they're old enough to be retired.

They are, as it turns out, or at least they appear to be. There's a visible age difference between them and Jake's other grandparents, who are on the young side anyway. They both come to the door as Sam parks the car, and Quinn's not sure whether to even get out, but he gets out and opens her door, so she guesses that's her answer. It's _hot _here. It's hot in Cincinnati, but this feels like hell or something. Not only is it scorching with the blazing sun shooting right down on them, but it's so _muggy. _She feels like she starts sweating the second she gets out of the car.

There's forced politeness edged with distaste from all sides, and Sam introduces them to her by name but doesn't call her his girlfriend. It doesn't really bother her because it's easily deduced. Mr. and Mrs. Fischer aren't _rude _to her, but they're not overly friendly, either. They shake her hand, though neither of them bother to smile or act pleased to meet her.

Sam asks where Jake is, and Mr. Fischer says he's in the bathroom right at the exact time that he comes flying out the door and basically throws himself at Sam. If he was worried about his son holding a grudge or his anger lasting, it was obviously unwarranted because Quinn honestly doesn't think she's ever seen one human being be so completely thrilled to see another person. He hugs him for what seems like forever, and when he finally lets go, he starts signing something so quickly that Sam can't even keep up and has to tell him to slow down.

"His things are inside." Mr. Fischer interrupts, and Sam signs something fast to Jake to tell him to hold on before he follows the other man inside to get the suitcase and the rest of the stuff.

Jake doesn't bother to help. Instead, he just moves over to Quinn and wraps his arm around her waist in a hug, too. He doesn't hug her all the time or anything, so it's still kind of just surprising and nice. Then he starts signing to her, and she has to tell him to slow down as well. Her sign language lessons are coming along slowly and are, so far, self-taught with some help from Sam. She still doesn't know a ton, but she's learning, and she can tell Jake's basically just asking, "Can we go home now?"

She gets the feeling of being watched, and she looks up to see Mrs. Fischer standing on the other side of the porch watching them. She's got a look on her face, and Quinn can tell it's not pleasant. She almost gets defensive and asks if there's a problem, but then she realizes it's mostly just a sad look, so she says nothing and looks back at Jake to tell him, "Soon."

…

She drives on the way home so Sam can talk to Jake who apparently has _a lot _to say. Quinn doesn't know if he's honestly got that much new information to share or if he's literally just busting to finally talk to someone who understands him. He's in a good mood, and when they stop to eat on the way home, he finally has to be _told _to stop talking and eat, and Sam must still feel guilty because when Jake asks if he can have dessert after only eating about a fourth of his real food, he gives in and lets him get it.

Later, after they get home and Jake finally crashes from too much sugar and too much traveling, Sam starts unpacking the suitcase and the duffel. Quinn sits on the bed and helps him sort through everything so that it can be put away. Everything is freshly washed and far more neatly folded than any of the clothes she's ever actually seen in Jake's drawers, but they won't stay that way for very long, she's sure.

Sam starts pulling stuff out and rolling his eyes a little bit. "He always comes home with like double the amount of stuff he takes down there." He goes through four shirts that still have tags on them. "I guess the clothes I buy him aren't good enough. Who spends thirty bucks on a shirt for a seven year old?"

The clothes aren't all that's new. Jake's already shown off three new games and a new pair of sneakers as well. Sam's just being defensive, but Quinn's sure that the real reason behind all the new things is more guilt on the grandparents' side. They only see him once a year, twice at most, and it's not surprising that they spoil him during that time. She's also sure that they overspend at birthdays and Christmas, and even though she's got little sympathy for them, she honestly doubts that it has much at all to do with trying to show off wealth. She also doesn't think it's a statement against Sam's ability to provide decent things for his child.

But she doesn't say this because she doesn't want to start a fight.

…

She ends up staying one night when Sam asks her not to leave, but when she wakes up the next morning, he's not in bed with her.

She can hear him in the kitchen, already up and making breakfast, and even though she spends nearly all of her free time here, she's still a little bit nervous when she pulls her hair into a ponytail and goes out there in the same clothes she had on last night. It's not that she thinks they're doing anything wrong, it's just that she's still a little nervous about how Jake might react.

As it turns out, he barely pays attention to her- either not registering the fact that she's been there all night or just not caring. He's barely awake himself, and Sam has to thump him in the back of the neck when his eyes start slipping shut and his head falls down on the table. It works, and Jake sits back up, but Sam gets an annoyed glare from a sleepy child in return.

When he distracts him with a plate of pancakes (which Jake appears to have absolutely no interest in), Sam pours Quinn a cup of coffee and then kisses her against the counter. Quinn lets one eye drift over to where Jake is still sitting in front of (and not eating) his breakfast. He's watching them, but he doesn't say anything. In fact, he almost looks bored.

Maybe they aren't traumatizing him…

…

They might end up traumatizing him a week later, but this time has nothing to do with sleepovers or kissing.

Jake's been missing his two bottom teeth for as long as Quinn's known him. He's at that awkward stage where he has "half-teeth" on the bottom, as his permanent ones have not yet come all the way in. Those are the only teeth he's missing, though, which is a little weird in itself since he'll be in second grade soon, but Sam says the dentist told him it was fine and that some kids just lose them more slowly than others.

But Jake's finally got a new loose tooth, and he's been messing with it nonstop for days. He's constantly got his hand in his mouth or his tongue shoving it around. It's like he can't just let it be no matter how many times somebody tells him to leave it alone. And by Thursday night, he's got it literally hanging by a thread Of course, this means he suddenly freaks out and won't eat anything and keeps claiming it hurts when Sam tries to force him.

So Quinn says, "Maybe you should just pull it."

"How do you do that?"

"I don't know. All of mine fell out on their own or were pulled at the dentist." She remembers hearing other people's stories, though, and says, "I think you can tie a string around it and then tie the other end to a door knob and slam the door or something."

Sam looks at her like she's crazy. "I'm not trying to mentally scar my kid for the rest of his life."

Quinn shrugs. "Then I don't know. Just yank it out."

"Google it."

Quinn pulls out her phone to do just that while Sam sits on the sofa in front of Jake and examines his mouth. Quinn looks at her search results, and there seems to be a general consensus.

"Google says not to do it."

Sam frowns and tilts Jake's head back a little bit to get a better look. "My mom pulled some of mine."

"So call her."

"No, she'll tell me not to do it." Quinn looks at him, and he rolls his eyes. "She always tells me not to do shit I know she did to me when I was a kid."

Quinn wants to laugh, but she doesn't. Instead, she just looks back at her phone. "This one says if it's ready to come out, you can just grab it with some tissue and pull it." She's got some tissue in her purse, and she pulls one out and hands it to Sam. He does nothing with it.

"Look at it," he says instead, and he turns Jake's head toward Quinn. Jake's wide-mouthed and looks a little bit like he's in pain when he tilts his head back so she can see. It's already halfway out- it's literally hanging in there by one corner. He uses his tongue and pushes it all the way forward until it's actually upside down. Without thinking, Quinn grabs the tissue back from Sam, reaches into Jake's mouth, and gives one tiny tug.

The tooth comes out in her hand.

Jake and Sam both stare at it in shock. To be honest, she's a little shocked as well. Shocked that it was so easy and shocked that she just _pulled a kid's tooth. _Her shock wears off when she sees blood dripping out of Jake's mouth, so she hands the tooth to Sam and pushes Jake toward the bathroom. He spits blood into the sink, and she rummages through the first aid drawer until she finds some gauze. She's not sure whether Jake's supposed to rinse, but he's already doing it, so she just lets him. Then she turns the water off and sits down on the toilet seat so that she is more at his level. There's not a ton of blood left, but she has him open his mouth and gently presses a piece of rolled up gauze into the space where his tooth was.

While she's getting it into place, he's all smiles and tells her something that she doesn't fully understand. The only word she actually gets is _money, _but that's enough to tell her that although he might not actually believe in it, he's still very excited for the prospect of the Tooth Fairy. She laughs and kisses the side of his head before he runs back to the living room to examine his tooth with Sam.

Quinn figures that since his tooth is successfully out, he has no more excuse not to eat, so she leaves Sam and Jake on the sofa looking at the tooth and goes to the kitchen. She doesn't cook a lot, but she can do grilled cheese. And it happens to be on the list of food Jake will actually eat, so she gets everything together and makes him one. When she takes it into the living room and sits it on the coffee table with some milk, Jake doesn't even have to be told before he gets up to eat. She stops him to check his mouth, but there's hardly any blood on the gauze and none in his mouth, so he looks good to go.

This time Sam follows her into the bathroom where she throws away the used gauze and washes her hands. He stands in the doorway, and when she turns around to dry her hands on a towel, he intercepts her and kisses her. She's a little surprised, so she looks at him questioningly. He just smiles at her, though.

And then he says, "I seriously think I'm falling in love with you."

"That's all it takes to get you to fall in love? A bloody tooth?"

He shrugs. "If you clean it up the next time he pukes, I'll buy you an engagement ring."

She can't help laughing at that, and he just kind of smiles and lets her.

…

For maybe the first time ever, she sees him really lose his temper.

She's seen him angry before and even so frustrated that he's lashed out a couple of times. It happened occasionally when they were kids for various reasons, and she's seen him start to lose it a few times with Jake. He always gets himself under control, though, so it's a little unnerving when she sees him actually snap.

He picks her up from work one day, and they stop by the grocery store before they head back to his house. It's all very normal until his phone rings, and she can tell right away that he doesn't appreciate whatever he's hearing on the other end. He ends the call with a very terse _thank you _and then pushes the cart straight to the checkout even though they've barely gotten through half the store. She can't get him to tell her what's wrong until they're actually at the car, but on the way home, she finds out exactly why he's angry.

Apparently he doesn't appreciate phone calls from his neighbors telling him that his son's at the neighborhood pool unsupervised. There's a strict policy that no children under twelve are supposed to be there without a chaperone, and Quinn's a little surprised because Stacy's supposed to be watching him… And that, of course, is the problem.

When they get back, he drives past his house and down to the pool, but there's no one there except for a couple of kids who live on the next street over. They drive back to his house, and he's barely even turned the car off before he's storming up the driveway to the door. She follows him quickly, mostly just because she can tell how mad he is already and she doesn't want him to kill anyone.

Jake's inside and perfectly safe. He's lying in front of the TV playing a video game, but he glances up when they come in and smiles. His hair is damp, but that's the only indication that he's even been at the pool. Well, except for the fact that Stacy shows up in a tank top and shorts with a very obvious bikini top underneath and tied at her neck. She doesn't seem to realize anything's wrong and says hi like she does every day.

She must be shocked when Sam immediately flips out on her.

"You wanna tell me why I got a phone call informing me that Jake was at the pool by himself?"

Stacy honestly looks kind of confused, but the situation gets way worse before she can even respond. A toilet flushes from down the hall, and all three of them look in its direction before a boy comes down the hall in flip flops and board shorts. Stacy finally seems to comprehend that the proverbial shit is about to hit the fan, but she can't do anything about it because Sam's already lost it.

"Who the hell are you?"

Stacy jumps in, obviously trying to do some damage control. "This is Chris. He lives-"

"Get the hell out of my house." Sam's voice basically leaves _no _room for argument, and Chris is obviously smart enough to realize it because he heads straight for the door. Stacy starts to call after him, but she stops and looks at her brother instead.

"We're just friends! He was just here playing with Jake!"

Sam rolls his eyes like he doesn't give a crap, and he probably doesn't. "Why was Jake by himself?"

"He wasn't! I was with him!" Jake himself is watching the exchange closely, and Stacy looks to him for backup. "Tell him I was at the pool with you!"

Jake signs something and looks a little confused, but Sam just looks angrier. "Then why did Mrs. Capsom tell me he was there by himself?"

"I don't know!"

"And FYI, you getting Jake to lie for you isn't going to do anything but get you _both _in trouble."

"I'm not lying!"

"Stacy." And even though Quinn's never actually seen him this angry, she can tell by his tone that this is the last chance. Stacy apparently knows it, too, because she's got tears in her eyes.

"I was with him! I just left for like five minutes because I had to go to Chris's house and get-"

"Damn it, Stacy!"

"I'm sorry!" She's going to start crying at any second, and Quinn can honestly tell that she's not even doing it for sympathy. Still, she tries to save herself at least a little and offers up a defense. "It was seriously just a few minutes, and there were lots of people around. And there's a _lifeguard! _Jake was fine!"

Jake still looks confused, but the video game has long since been abandoned. He's sitting up now, still in his spot on the floor, and he's watching the argument with a somewhat worried kind of look on his face. Quinn is less confused, but she feels incredibly awkward and out of place. She hates watching other people fight and yell at each other. If she could sneak out the door, she would, but that would just draw attention to herself. So she just stands there in the doorway and tries her best to be invisible.

Sam's quiet for a few seconds, and it honestly looks like he's trying to calm himself down, which is obviously a good thing. But it doesn't work. He's either incapable of calming himself down right now or just doesn't want to because his voice raises with every word when he says, "_You're _supposed to be watching him. Because maybe you haven't realized it, but he _can't fucking hear!" _

The tears finally break and slip down Stacy's cheeks. "Stop swearing at me!"

Sam ignores her completely, of course, and keeps right on going. "He can't hear it if somebody says something or if a lifeguard's whistle blows! That's why you have to watch him! You're not a little kid anymore, _he is! _If something happened to him, it'd be your fault! A pool is dangerous!"

Stacy looks scared and guilty and just really upset. Quinn honestly feels bad for her and thinks that Sam could probably lay off a little bit because he's already gotten his point across. But he's so _angry _right now, and it's not her business anyway. But she does feel bad when Stacy can't even get a coherent sentence out.

"I didn't… I know- I…" She stops herself and wipes at her eyes roughly before she takes in a deep breath and calmly says, "I want to go home."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Good. You can call Dad to come get you because I'm not taking you anywhere."

Stacy looks down at the ground. "Dad's at work."

"Yeah. So I'm sure he'll be really happy when he has to leave and come pick you up."

"Sam." She looks up then, and Quinn can tell she's silently asking him to just forgive her already, and Quinn expects it to work.

Until it doesn't.

"Or you can go find your boyfriend and ask him for a ride."

"He's just my friend!" and she sounds kind of desperate and still completely upset.

Sam, though, seems to have zero sympathy. "Right, I'm sure. Do you always put your nephew's life at risk so you can talk to your friends?"

More tears fall, and this time Stacy doesn't even try to stop them. She just grabs her purse from the coffee table and leaves, letting the front door slam loudly behind her. Sam watches her go and then looks at Jake. He doesn't look at Quinn at all before he just leaves, too, though he only goes to his bedroom.

Jake sits there for just a couple more seconds before he gets up and climbs onto the sofa so that he can look out the front window. Then he turns around and asks Quinn where Stacy went. She tells him that she went home, and he looks worried. Obviously he knows something's wrong, and then a few seconds later, the worried look turns more into a scared one, and he asks if he's in trouble. She tells him he's not, and he looks momentarily relieved. But then Sam comes out of the bedroom, sees him on the sofa, and snaps at him to get down. Jake does so right away, but he stays close to Quinn while Sam goes outside and then comes back in with his cell phone and the two bags of groceries they left in the backseat.

He doesn't say anything to either of them before he goes back to his room.

…

Quinn spends most of the night taking care of Jake.

She feeds him and plays some video game where he kills her within seconds because she has no idea what she's doing. He's also working on some online game sort of thing that his school recommends to help with reading, so she sits with him while he does that. And she's not really sure of how everything works, but it's kind of interesting. He gets a sign and a list of words and has to match them up. He does pretty well at it and seems excited, so she gives him high-fives and encourages him. Eventually, it's bedtime, so she sends him for a shower and makes sure he brushes his teeth and everything before she puts him to bed.

He asks where Sam is, and she doesn't really know what to say, so she just says he's tired. Jake looks mildly disappointed (maybe a little bit hurt), but he doesn't let it show for long. Instead, he just looks at her expectantly once he's in bed, and she realizes he wants a hug. She gives him one and tells him goodnight, and right before she leaves him, he signs, "I love you," and she feels something she can't even close to explaining.

Sam is asleep when she finally goes to his room. She doesn't have her car here, so she can't exactly leave. Instead, she just sits down beside him and puts her hand on his shoulder. It does the trick, and he wakes up easily. He blinks at her a few times, and then asks where Jake is. She tells him that he's in bed, and Sam looks a little guilty but thanks her for taking care of everything.

Then he lets out a huge breath and sits up. "My dad called and chewed me out."

"Why?"

"Because he says it was irresponsible and stupid to leave Stacy without a ride like that. And it was, I know. I was just so mad…"

He looks infinitely calmer now than he did a few hours ago. She gives him a little smile and tries to be encouraging. "It's okay. She's fine."

"I know I was too hard on her. I just worry about things like that. Like Jake not being able to do everything other kids can do without extra supervision and stuff… I shouldn't have yelled at her like that." He still looks guilty. "I've _never _yelled at her like that."

Quinn believes it. Sam's never been the typical brother, always annoyed by his younger siblings and always arguing or picking fights. He's actually the opposite. Quinn remembers when she used to help babysit, Stacy and Stevie would fight with each other a lot, but Sam put most of his effort into breaking those fights up and trying not to take sides. He would have done _anything _for those kids (in a way, she guesses he _did), _and he always made time for them. He also always had a habit of covering up anything they ever did so that they wouldn't get in trouble. She remembers him constantly either just not telling his parents things that the kids did or actually taking the blame if it was something he couldn't hide. He would play with them and take care of them, and they both basically worshipped the ground he walked on. Stacy, especially, was more attached to him than she was to either of her parents. So it's not shocking at all to Quinn that this might honestly be the first actual fight she and Sam have ever had.

"Can you stay here with Jake? I want to go see if I can talk to Stacy." She nods, and he kisses her before he gets up and puts his shoes on. "I'll be back soon. I don't even know if she'll talk to me."

"I'm sure she will."

He gives her a little smile that doesn't really reach his eyes. "I'm gonna see if Jake's still awake before I leave."

She lies on his bed and watches some movie on SyFy because, unsurprisingly, that's where the TV's already turned to. She hears Sam leave a few minutes later, and she thinks, not for the first time, that he really is as close to perfect as she's ever going to get. Because even tonight, when he showed himself at his _least _perfect, he still realized it and immediately wanted to change it. She just doesn't know many other people like that. Honestly, she's not sure she knows _any _other people like that.

It worries her a little bit because she feels like she's getting too attached. She knows that she _is _getting attached- attached to Sam, attached to Jake, attached to the whole idea of a family she can't ever remember really having.

So what happens if it's over tomorrow? She's wrapped her entire life in Cincinnati up in basically two people. She doesn't even _know _anyone else, and it's even worse because she doesn't _want _to know anyone else. She's never been like this before- or at least not since she's entered adulthood- she's never been someone whose entire existence is basically wrapped up in someone else, so it scares her a little bit. She hasn't even been here this long, only a few months actually, so it's probably silly to already feel so attached. Part of her argues the opposite side, the fact that she's technically known him since she was sixteen and conveniently leaves out the part where she had no contact with him for a decade, but even still, liking someone this much this fast scares her.

Because it's not who she is.

…

She's asleep when he gets home, but she kind of wakes up for a few seconds when he gets in bed.

She can't get her eyes open, but she sighs a tiny bit when he kisses that spot right behind her ear and wraps an arm around her waist. She likes the way this feels, falling asleep in his arms. She likes the way it feels waking up, too. Maybe she _is _too attached.

Maybe it's not actually a bad thing.

…

A/N: Okay, for real, the next part is the last… (I think).


	6. Chapter 6

**YOU WON'T FIND HEART AND SOUL IN THE STARS**

**Part 6**

…

He actually says the words while he's inside of her.

She's already half-blanked out from reality as it is, which isn't uncommon given the present situation. But hearing, "I love you," mumbled into her ear almost makes her stop breathing altogether. It's not even shocking because she's already known it for awhile. It's just something they've never actually _said, _and she knows there are all kinds of rules about not saying it for the first time during sex and all of that, but she seriously cannot even think coherently enough to be offended.

Her eyes are closed, and she feels like she's completely removed from the universe or something. All she can focus on is the sound of his breathing in her ear and the fact that he's completely encompassing every one of her senses. He's going so slow that she's almost at the point of breaking down and begging him to go faster, but she doesn't. She just lets him do what he wants- set the pace, move her leg to the position he wants it, decide when she's had enough and needs to let go… She doesn't normally give him that much power, but sometimes it feels good to just give herself over like that.

When it's over, though, she doesn't let him move right away, and she presses a hand low on his back to keep him in place. It's like he can read her mind or something because he kisses her softly and whispers, "I love you," again in a voice she knows is just meant for her.

She believes him.

…

Jake hits three homeruns in one game and breaks some kind of local league record, and she misses it.

She makes it to most of the games, but on this particular day, she's caught up at work and can't leave until she finishes approximately 90 hours of work in one day. Luckily, though, one of the moms caught it on video, so she gets to see it via email. She can't really hide her smile when she sees Jake nearly miss touching home on the third run because Sam grabs him. It's apparently a very big deal, and she can't help how excited she gets even though her interest in baseball is less than major.

Still, she can't deny that Jake is really talented. He's definitely the best player on his team, which is saying something, since it's a 7-9 age bracket, and he's on the low end of that. No, it probably doesn't hurt that his dad is the coach, so he does kind of get a lot of extra help, but still, he's _really_ good. And he loves playing, too, so that makes it even better.

She shoots back an email with the appropriate amount of excitement and suggests a celebration later when she _(finally) _gets to leave work.

…

She gets a little more than she bargained for when she finds herself at Chuck E. Cheese's with not one, but three, little boys. And Sam, who for all intents and purposes, might as well be a child in this kind of environment.

Jake's got two friends with him- one a little boy from his class named Miles who's also on the baseball team and Devin, the little boy from next door who's a year older than the other two. They seem to all be getting along fine, and they go through almost two whole pizzas, though Jake, true to his nature, pulls all the cheese off and leaves the crust untouched. They're all drinking pop, which for Jake at least is not the norm, so things are a little bit crazy.

They all fly through eating so that they can go play. Quinn isn't surprised at all when she can look at Sam and tell he wants to join them. She laughs and tells him to go on while she sits and saves the table. She can see them clearly from where she's sitting, and it's weird how she suddenly doesn't even remember being so stressed at work that she could barely stand it. She doesn't feel stressed at all right now. It's crazy that she's just as happy to be sitting at a kids' pizza place as she was a year ago to be sitting in a high end martini bar in Manhattan. But it's true.

It's definitely not the first time that she's just been amazed by how great Sam is with kids. He's been that way for as long as she's known him, but it's even cuter now- watching him play with his son and his friends. All three boys are looking at him like he's awesome, and it's not surprising at all that he'd be the "cool dad." He's young and nice, and he's always got time to play with them. So it's no wonder that they all love him. He's acting as interpreter between Devin and the other boys, and she wonders, not for the first time, how one person can be so good.

She's flipping through emails on her phone, trying to make sure her work's not continuing to pile up while she's not there, when Jake runs back up to the table. He slides into the booth beside her and reaches for his drink, gulping it down. He's out of breath, red-faced, and sweaty, and she knows he needs a break. He looks at her while he gulps his drink, and she pushes some damp hair away from his forehead. He's definitely been playing too hard, but she's not really surprised, given the fact that Chuck E. Cheese's is like a seven year old's utopia or something. He shows her his token cup, which is severely lacking in tokens but is overflowing with tickets, and then he starts pulling more out of his pockets, yanking tickets out by the fistful. She knows he wants her to count them, so she takes them and gives his hair one more sweep before he takes off again.

Sam shows up a little while later, looking exactly like his son. He's sweaty and almost out of breath, too, which is odd since he works out for hours every single day and sometimes barely even breaks a sweat. Apparently skee ball is much more strenuous.

"You know there's a machine that will do that for you?" He grabs his water and sucks it down after he sits down across from her.

"Your child asked me to count them." She shouldn't speak because she loses count somewhere in the 300s.

"Because he always thinks he has a lot more if he actually has hundreds of tickets instead of a slip of paper. He doesn't really get that they're exactly the same thing."

Quinn doesn't doubt this because, well, Jake's seven. And to a seven year old's brain, more is always better. Sam watches her start over with the counting and then messes her up again when he dumps his own pocketful of tickets into the pile.

"Shouldn't you share with all the kids?"

"Yeah, I should." He looks serious, too. "Not because I care, but because the last thing I need in my house is more tiny plastic crap to step on."

She laughs because it's true. The stuff they give away here isn't good for anything but making a mess and getting lost. She hasn't yet stepped on any of it, but she _did _have the pleasure of stepping on her first Lego a few weeks ago… Sometimes it's a really good thing Jake _can't _hear because stepping on a Lego doesn't incite the nicest language.

She gives up counting because it's pointless and also because Sam's right- there _is _a machine that does it for you. Instead, she kicks his ankle under the table and says, "So. How proud of you are of your little All-Star?"

Sam smiles even though she's halfway joking, and it's cute because she can tell he really _is _proud. "Did you know we still lost the game anyway?"

"Really?" She hadn't even thought to ask because everyone was too caught up in the homerun record, but it's ironic that they would still lose after that.

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter because _my _kid is badass." He smirks again, and she knows that he's being serious even if he is kidding around a little bit.

"Were you the Little League star that he is?"

Sam laughs and shakes his head. "Not even close. But I didn't have an awesome coach, either, so…"

Quinn rolls her eyes because he's an idiot. "Do you know the very first time I ever saw you?"

He looks a little bit confused. "Umm… probably the first day I showed up to glee and started rambling like a dumbass because I was too nervous to shut up?"

"That wasn't the first time I _saw _you. Maybe the first time I _spoke _to you…"

"You didn't speak to me that day."

"Whatever." He shuts up, and she smiles sweetly in thanks before she continues. "The first time I _saw_ you was at football practice. I was spying."

"On me?"

She rolls her eyes again. "Why the hell would I be spying on you?" He shrugs, and she shakes her head. "No. Coach Sylvester sent us there to spy on Coach Beiste."

"Why was she so psycho?"

"Oh, my god, so not the point." He shuts his mouth and looks at her, even though she can completely tell he's trying not to laugh. She ignores him and goes back to her story. "_Anyway, _there wasn't just a new football coach, there was also a new quarterback."

"Me."

"Yes, genius." He smirks, and she's caught between wanting to slap him and kiss him (that kind of happens a lot). "_You. _And anyway, we were spying and watching, and Santana said thanks to the new guy, we might actually have a shot at winning something."

"_Santana _gave me a compliment?"

"It was before she knew you." He kind of gapes at her, but what? It's the truth. After that, Santana would probably have cut her own tongue out before she said anything even remotely nice to him. After insulting Finn and Rachel, insulting Sam was her favorite hobby- not a secret. "And anyway, she changed her mind like a second later because you tripped over your own feet and face-planted into the grass."

"This didn't happen."

"Uh, yes, it did. And that was the first time I saw you."

"Well," he shrugs one shoulder like he doesn't care at all, "even if it _did _happen- which it didn't- I obviously made a good first impression because you couldn't keep away after that."

She actually snorts. "Oh, _that's _what happened?"

He nods like he's totally serious, and she just shakes her head.

It's crazy how talking about being sixteen makes her _feel _sixteen.

…

She meets him at the gym one day for their regular workout, and she finds him beating the crap out of a punching bag.

Usually he waits for her before he actually starts working out, but he's apparently already gotten a head start. Either that, or he's just really angry and needs to hit something. After about ten seconds, she decides it's probably the second option.

"Bad day?"

He stops what he's doing and looks at her like he didn't realize she was standing there or something. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but then he closes it. She can tell something's seriously wrong, though, so she asks what it is.

"Can we skip this today?" is the response she gets, and she's barely even nodded before he's grabbing his stuff and heading for the exit.

They end up going to her place because Jake's at a sleepover at a friend's house, and neither of them have anywhere else to be until the next morning. Sam isn't talking much, but she orders Chinese food and lets him flip through the channels on her TV mindlessly. She gives him a good fifteen minutes before she brings it up again.

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

He still looks like he doesn't want to tell her, but then he does. "They're cutting financial aid at Jake's school next year."

"Completely?"

"No, but still." He stops flipping channels and looks at the floor. "It's already expensive."

She honestly doesn't know much about the financial aspect of the school because it's not really her business. Still, if he's talking about it, she can probably ask a few questions. "Why are they cutting it?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I guess they lost funding or enrollment changed or something. I just got this letter stating that they were cutting all financial aid back by like thirty-five percent, so now I have to come up with an extra five grand that I seriously don't have."

She can tell he's embarrassed, probably because five thousand dollars isn't _really _that much. But on top of all his normal bills and whatever tuition he's _already _paying, she can see how that kind of money could be unattainable.

"Is there another school he could go to?"

Sam frowns. "There's a public school, but it's in Columbus. So we'd either have to move, or I'd have to send him there to board…" She already knows he won't do that. "Or drive him two hours there and back every day. But I love his school. And _he _loves his school..."

Quinn knows that's true. Jake's been attending that school since he was two, and it's obviously a really good place for him. Sam constantly brags about it, about the teachers and how small the classes are and how Jake gets so much one-on-one attention and help. Not to mention, of course, that it's a Catholic school, and while they may not actually _be _Catholic, the Bible classes and bi-weekly school Mass are basically the only _real _exposure to Christian teaching that he receives. Yes, they attend church on a regular weekly basis, but it's not exactly deaf friendly. Jake spends most of the time just sitting there looking at books or coloring worksheets from Sunday School, so the fact that he can get that sort of education in school is important.

"Do you think there's any way they'll get the funding back?"

He lifts one shoulder, and she can tell how honestly upset he is by this. A few seconds later, he says, "I hate money," in this really low voice that makes her a little uncomfortable.

She's always had money. She honestly can't really remember a time in her life where she wanted something she couldn't have, and it was very rare that her parents didn't just give her whatever she wanted. She knows she's lucky. She also knows Sam's familiar with both sides of that coin. He grew up relatively spoiled himself with an expensive private education and a nice house. When she first met him, both of his parents drove nice cars, and he had plenty of expendable income that he spent, more often than not, mostly on her. Of course, all of that went away very quickly, so he knows what it's like to have everything and turn around and have nothing. She can't personally relate to that, but she was there and saw it happen. She knows how hard it was on everyone involved, and while maybe his brother and sister were too young to really comprehend everything that was happening, Sam was definitely old enough to be aware of it all. Not to mention, of course, all of the responsibility that fell on him. He knew about serious money troubles too young. While other people their age worried that their parents wouldn't buy them a nice enough car for their sixteenth birthday, Sam was worrying about making sure his brother and sister had lunch money on a day to day basis. Looking back, it seems even worse now than it did back then- possibly because she was sixteen and refused to think of herself or any of her friends as kids. Now she's an adult, and she realizes that sixteen is still just a child, so remembering Sam skipping lunch for two or three days at a time to "study" in the library is much worse than it was while it was actually happening. When it was happening, she tried to ignore it. She couldn't bring much attention to it because she was the sole person keeping his secret, and if she opened her mouth to protest, somebody would have been suspicious. And it wasn't like she could ever just bring it up because Sam was always so defensive about the whole situation- it would have caused more problems than it solved. So she stayed quiet and tried to tell herself that maybe he really _did _just need to study, but it's a lot harder to pretend now that she's all grown up.

"Maybe your parents could help…" She says it carefully, unsure of how he'll react to a suggestion like that. His parents are financially stable now, but they're nowhere close to having everything they had before. They live in a relatively small house and live modestly but comfortably. They have all their basic needs, but they don't go too far above that. Stacy doesn't have a car, and Stevie's at a state school apparently living primarily off of student loans. They're doing alright, but Quinn doesn't really know how much extra they have to throw around.

Sam doesn't seem offended or bothered by her question, though. He just seems to dismiss it as an option. "I'll get it," he says. "I'll just have to take on more clients or something. It just sucks because I already feel like I barely get to see Jake as it is."

Quinn's a little surprised to hear that he feels that way. From what she can tell, Sam spends a _ton _of time with Jake. Or maybe her point of view is just skewed, since her own father rarely spent any time alone with her ever. He gave her whatever she wanted on a regular basis, but she can't remember him ever attending a single ballet recital or going to any of her cheer competitions. Even when he was around, he was far removed from her life. Sam, on the other hand, is involved in every single thing Jake does- from school, to sports, to church, he's _always _there. So she can't imagine that he has any reason whatsoever to feel even the slightest bit neglectful.

But trying to tell him that will inevitably be useless.

…

Her sister calls her out of the blue one Tuesday and pretends like they didn't have a huge fight and haven't spoken for months.

Quinn plays along because that's what she's been trained to do in her family. If you don't talk about something, it never happened. It's dumb, but that's what they do. And right now, she really can't think of a reason not to follow that lead.

Then Frannie says, "So, are you seeing anyone?"

And she says, "I'm still with Sam."

"Who?"

"Sam," she repeats, and her sister fucking knows who she's talking about.

When Frannie says, "Oh, the gym guy? You're not over that yet?" Quinn honestly wants to crawl through the phone and strangle her.

Instead, she says, "I love him," and hangs up.

She makes a promise to herself to not pick up the phone the next time her sister calls.

…

Despite the cut in funding, Jake's school still holds its annual summer carnival.

Apparently it's a really big deal and is responsible for most of the financial aid that the school's able to award. So obviously, the more successful, the better. Especially right now. Sam has to volunteer for it, and it doesn't take much convincing to get her to join him. It might be fun, and even if it's not, it's at least for a good cause.

She expects some rinky dink carnival like her elementary school used to have, which was basically some homemade pies, cornhole, and a duck pond. One year they had a petting zoo, which had exactly one goat and two sheep. But this is basically the exact opposite of that. This looks like a real fair with actual rides, tons of vendors, and all kinds of carnival food that smells delicious but is good for no one. It's also incredibly crowded and is apparently a pretty big deal here. She's shocked by just about every aspect of it.

She ends up at an auction booth with Sam, and she spends a few hours taking down bids and people's information. It's the middle of July, and it's _very _hot, but there's a little fan blowing on them, so she's not too miserable. Besides, she just keeps telling herself to think of Jake whenever she starts getting irritated at the crowd and the heat.

Sam pokes her at one point, and when she looks at him, he just smiles and says, "Thanks," and she doesn't have to ask for clarification.

Luckily they don't have to work the whole night, and when their replacements show up, they head off to find his family. His parents and Stacy are there with Jake, and they're supposed to be doing a trade off because Stacy has plans with a couple of her friends. Sam calls his dad, so it's relatively easy to track them down, and Jake hugs his grandparents goodbye and even hugs Stacy in what is obviously one of those rare moments where they're actually getting along and not trying to kill each other.

Jake's super hyper, which isn't surprising at all considering the fact that his fingers are sticky with the remnants of cotton candy, and he's on a typical kid's carnival high. He grabs Sam's hand and immediately starts dragging him toward some ride that looks way too dangerous for a seven year old. _Or _a twenty-seven year old for that matter. She follows them because she refuses to believe that Sam is actually going to let his child get on that thing.

She's wrong.

They get in line, and Sam looks at her expectantly when she doesn't join them. "You coming?"

"No way in _hell." _

He starts to laugh at her, but Jake interrupts and starts telling her to come on. She tells him that she's not, and he rolls his eyes like _she's _the crazy person for not wanting to get into what essentially amounts to a closed in wire basket that rotates on its own axis while turning over and over again on a larger axis. She has enough common sense to realize that that is not smart.

She wants to drag them both out of line and tell them how stupid they are to get on that thing and then maybe smack them both a little. But she doesn't. She just leans against a picnic table and waits for them to be finished. They're both laughing when they get off the ride, which she supposes is better than vomiting. But still. They're crazy. Jake rushes up and grabs her hand this time, and she basically has no choice but to follow him to his next ride of choice. Sam's counting tickets behind them, making sure that they have enough, and Jake is on his toes trying to get a better view of the ride.

A little girl and her parents walk by, and the girl stops and runs back over to Jake. She's smiling and super cute when she waves and starts signing to him. Jake looks happy, too, until Sam nudges Quinn and says, "That's Kaley. His girlfriend." Jake somehow notices this, and the glare he shoots is enough to make both Sam and Quinn laugh, which obviously doesn't help the situation at all. Jake's pissed and looks at both of them like he wants to kill them. Kaley looks at them, too, clearly confused, and they both do their best to get the laughing under control and appear serious.

It works well enough. Jake goes back to talking to Kaley, and Sam smiles at her parents who are waiting patiently a few feet away. Quinn has no idea whether this is actually his girlfriend or not, and she's not really sure what being a seven year old girlfriend entails, but regardless, he could do worse. She's absolutely adorable, and they're both so excited and animated talking to each other.

She thinks it might be the cutest thing she's ever seen.

…

Jake comes in the door one day bleeding from the lip and obviously trying very hard not to be noticed.

Of course, he _is _noticed, and Sam grabs his arm and stops him when he tries to escape to his bedroom. Jake stops, but it's obvious that he's trying very hard to show no emotion whatsoever. He sucks on his lip in what's obviously an attempt to cover up the fact that it's split, and he's also got a large scrape across his chin. Sam asks him what happened, without signing, and even though Jake can obviously read his lips, he plays dumb and stares at him blankly. Quinn can already predict where this is headed, but Sam doesn't immediately get irritated.

Instead, he asks again with signs, "What happened to your lip?"

Jake gives a quick answer back that Quinn can't understand. Sam, though, is apparently less than amused by it given the way his features sharpen. He asks the same question again, this time with a more serious expression, and Jake turns his head and looks to the left. Quinn's seen this before and knows that Sam can't stand it. Jake doesn't do it a lot, but she's seen him do it often enough to know that it's his way of not listening. He does it on purpose, and looking away is basically the equivalent of putting his hands over his ears and going, "La, la, la, I can't hear you." It drives Sam crazy, and the times that she's seen him actually get truly angry with Jake have involved this very action more often than not. He's not having it today, though, and he takes Jake's chin in his hand and _forces _him to look. Only it doesn't work because Jake just looks at the ground instead.

Things are about to go from bad to worse, but then the doorbell rings and the lights flash quickly. Sam gives Jake a look that obviously says he's not happy, but he lets him go anyway. As Sam gets up to answer the door, Jake leaves and goes to his room like he first intended.

Devin's at the door, and Quinn hears him ask, "Can Jake play?" before Sam opens the door and lets him in. He stops him, though, before he sends him off to Jake's room and asks what happened.

"Do you know what happened to Jake?"

Devin immediately looks nervous and says, "I didn't do it."

"Didn't do what? Why is his lip bleeding?"

It's obvious that Devin doesn't want to be put on the spot and even more obvious that he knows exactly what happened. He pops his fingers against his thighs and looks down at the carpet. For a second, Quinn's convinced that he's going to play Jake's game and not answer, but apparently he's more intimidated by Sam because answers. "He got in a fight."

Sam's face doesn't change, almost like he expected this answer. Quinn's surprised, though, because she can't imagine Jake fighting with anyone. Sam, though, just keeps asking questions. "With who?"

"With those boys." Devin looks like he's scared he's going to be in trouble, and Quinn feels a little bad for him because Sam is not exactly at his friendliest.

"What boys?"

"Nicky. And Benjamin and Alex." Devin's frowning, and it's clear that he's worried about saying too much and getting anyone in trouble. "They were being mean to him, so Jake hit Nicky…"

"How were they mean?"

Quinn's honestly afraid that Devin's actually going to start crying. She can tell that he's afraid that this is all going to end with him in trouble, and she thinks Sam could probably realize that and be a little less snappy and demanding. He doesn't, though, and she's not sure she can really blame him because this is probably the first time his son's been in an actual fight.

"They said he couldn't play with us…" Devin's looking back at the carpet, and it's obvious where all of this is headed, but Sam obviously can't keep himself from asking anyway.

"Why can't he play with you?"

"He can play with me!" And Devin looks up immediately with this face that shows he's being entirely sincere.

"Why did they say he couldn't play? They don't like him?"

"Sam…" Quinn steps in then, mostly because she feels sorry for Devin but also because she already knows what's going on, and she's sure Sam does as well. She can't see the point in demanding answers when it's just going to make him more upset. He looks at her when she says his name, and she tries to give him a look that says all of that, but Devin's obviously too scared to not answer because he's already talking.

"They said he's stupid…" He's frowning and looks sad at just the memory. "And they said he's weird."

"Why?"

"Because he can't hear…" Devin's looking at Sam, obviously still worried that he's going to be in trouble. Sam, for what it's worth, somehow softens his tone a little bit despite being hit with the harsh reality of the situation. He might have known it was coming, but it's still not easy to hear that your son's being picked on- especially for a disability he has no control over.

"So Jake hit him?"

Devin nods. "Yeah, but it didn't hurt him because Nicky's big. Then Nicky pushed Jake and made him fall down and hit his face on that yellow thing you park by. So then Jake got up and left. And then I left because I wanted to play with him more than them anyway."

Quinn's mostly concerned with the fact that they were playing so close to the street in the first place. Sam, though, has a weird look on his face and just nods. There are a few seconds of silence, and then he says, "Jake's in his room," and Devin takes off in that direction without waiting around for anything else.

"Sam."

He looks at her when they're alone, and she frowns because she doesn't know what else to say. He looks half-hurt and half-angry, and she doesn't know what to do about it.

"Kids are such jerks," he says finally, and she can tell this really bothers him. She's not surprised because it bothers her, too, but it must be worse for him.

"Are you going to talk to their parents?" It's the only thing she can think of that might somehow help the situation, but Sam just shakes his head.

"I will, but they won't care. They're all idiots. Nicky's like ten!" She doesn't know any of the kids or their parents, but obviously Sam does and is pretty confident that bringing attention to it won't do much good. He looks so pissed, though. "My parents would literally have beaten my ass if I did that kind of crap. Literally. I wouldn't have been able to sit down for like a week."

She believes it. Even before they had a deaf child in the family, she can't imagine that his parents were too receptive to the idea of teasing anyone, much less a special needs child. She also can't imagine Sam would ever have done it, either, so it's easy to see how he can't relate to the fact that some people could just overlook their kids doing it.

"I used to get bullied a lot. When I was little." He drops onto the sofa, and she sits down next to him. "Kids were really mean. They used to call me dumb and say I was slow because I couldn't read." It's been a long time since she's heard him even mention dyslexia, so she's kind of surprised to hear it now. It's not something she thinks about a lot because she doesn't see it on a day to day basis anymore. When they were in school, though, he struggled a lot and always took a lot longer to do homework than most people she knew. "When I was in first grade, before I was diagnosed, my teacher used to make everybody read out loud, and I could never do it. Like I would try, but I just couldn't… I would just sit there, and then she would make me pull a card for not following directions. And everybody would laugh, but she wouldn't do anything about it. I used to try to fake sick every day so I wouldn't have to go to school." He's quiet for a second, and then he says, "I just don't understand why kids _do _that."

Quinn says nothing. She stares at a spot on the sofa and just thinks for a little while. There's total silence except for a little bit of noise coming from Jake's room. Then she very quietly says, "It gives them power," and she kind of hates herself a little bit in that moment. "It's addicting."

Sam looks at her, and she expects him to judge her or look down on her. She used to be a bully, even if she didn't think of it that way while it was happening. To her, it was just a way to stay on top. She was very concerned with her social status, and being the head cheerleader automatically made her the most popular girl in school. It was intoxicating in a way, to have that much power. But it was also a way to get back at all of the kids who used to bully _her. _She didn't have an easy childhood, either, and she remembers going home in tears plenty of times. But when she switched school and was allowed a fresh start, it was a little to easy to fall from the role of the bullied into the bully. She felt, on some level, that it was owed to her. She felt like being able to torture others was her vindication for all the years she spent being tortured. Even though she was at a different school, her newfound popularity and power felt like a giant fuck you to all the assholes who made her life miserable before.

She realizes now how very stupid all of that was.

"I don't want Jake to do that." He sounds almost nervous, probably because yes, Jake was getting picked on, but _he's _the one who actually turned it physical. It probably doesn't mean anything, but it's his first fight.

"He won't be." And she's honestly sure of that. "You won't let him."

She had no one to tell her not to do the things she did. She had no one to comfort her when she was getting bullied, and she had no one to notice and tell her to stop when the tables turned. Her parents always overlooked everything that wasn't exactly perfect. Jake won't ever have to worry about any of that. If he's doing something wrong, it will be stopped, or he will be in trouble. That's one of the things she admires most about the whole situation- Jake isn't mollycoddled just because he's deaf. He has the same rules and consequences as any other seven year old, and he doesn't get by with things just because he can't hear.

"I don't want him to be bullied, either."

He seems more scared of this, and she can see why. Jake might be a very normal seven year old boy on most levels, but he's got something big that sets him apart from other kids. Kids pick on anything that's different, and Jake's difference is pretty obvious and not one that's ever going to be well-hidden. He might fit in just fine at school, but he lives in a neighborhood with, goes to church with, and plays sports with a bunch of hearing kids. As far as Quinn can tell, he plays just fine with those kids for the most part. She hasn't really seen them treat him too differently or seen him be too confused to keep up with whatever is going on. He can probably adapt well based on the fact that his whole family is hearing, which has turned him into a very good lip-reader. But bullying doesn't get better as kids get older- it usually gets worse.

"Jake will be okay. He's lucky."

"Why?"

She curls up a little closer to him. "Because he's got the best dad in the world."

It doesn't even surprise her to realize she means every word.

…

Sam goes to an early morning appointment one Saturday, so Quinn takes care of getting Jake up and getting him fed and getting his teeth brushed and all that.

He doesn't feel his best, and he complains of a stomach ache when she tries to make him eat more of his cereal. She feels his forehead, and he's a little warm, but nothing too bad. She tells him to eat three more bites and then he can go play. He concedes and eats three (very small) bites, but he doesn't run off to play. Instead, he tails her everywhere as she straightens up, and he sits in the bathroom with her while she brushes her own teeth and fixes her hair. She's glad she's already dressed because she's not sure she could get away for even five minutes to change with the way he's stuck to her this morning.

She goes back to the living room, and he follows her, laying down in her lap when she sits down and turns the TV on. It's not uncommon for him to be lazy in the mornings, but he usually wakes up after about a half hour at the longest. He tells her again that his stomach hurts, so she instinctively starts rubbing it a little bit and isn't surprised when his eyes close again within minutes. He's so little and precious. She wishes she'd been around when he was a baby and a toddler, just because she feels like she's missed so much coming in so late. She's never been this close with any other child, so it's all a little new for her. But she loves that he's still little enough so that she didn't completely miss out on the time when he still wants to give hugs and hold hands. She has a feeling all of that will be ending very soon, so she's glad that she at least got to be around for a little of it.

Sam gets home just in time because she's got to be at a meeting in an hour. He comes in and finds them on the sofa, and she tells him that Jake's stomach is upset. He lifts Jake off of the sofa so Quinn can get up, but Jake wakes up immediately and starts whining. Sam puts him down, and Jake immediately goes back to Quinn and starts hugging her. He stays like that all the way until she gets to the door to leave. She tells him that she has to go to work, but he just shakes his head like he doesn't want her to. So she bends down to give him a real hug and tell him she'll be back later. She's not fluent in ASL by any means, but her signing and comprehension is getting much better. Jake looks sad but concedes and nods. She hugs him and kisses his cheek, noticing that his face is much warmer now than it was this morning.

"I think he has a fever," she tells Sam when she stands back up. He puts a hand to Jake's forehead and grimaces a little bit.

"I hope it's just a bug."

"I'll come back after work. Call me if you need me." He nods, and she leans over to kiss him. Without thinking, she adds an, "I love you," and doesn't even realize she's said it until she catches the way he's staring at her.

It's the first time she's actually said the words, though she's sure he's known for awhile. Still, he gives her this really adorable smile that's almost on the shy side, and she can't help but smile back.

She's happy the whole day.

…

By the end of summer, she's practically moved in.

She still has her condo, but she mostly just goes there to get clothes and check the mail. She spends nearly every night at Sam's except for the occasional night that they might spend at her place if Jake's not home. She likes it, though. She likes being around them because she feels like a part of the family. She works a lot of hours, so it's nice to not be alone when she gets home. It's just comfortable.

They're washing dishes in the kitchen one night after Jake's asleep, and they get distracted because she kisses him. It doesn't take much to get his attention, and kissing is one definite way to accomplish that. She doesn't honestly mean for it to turn into a make-out session against his counter, but it kind of does. She's not complaining, though, because she seriously thinks he's an awesome kisser. It gets pretty heated pretty quickly, though, and she's kind of not surprised when he's got the bottom of her dress in his fists and is pushing it up over her hips.

He kisses her some more and then pulls back and says, "We need to go to bed."

She nods because they do. They get delayed again, though, because he kisses her again, and she obviously can't help but to kiss him back. She also can't find much reason to protest when his hands slide behind her thighs, and he effectively lifts her off the ground. They don't normally let it ever get to this point anywhere besides closed doors, but she's having a difficult time remembering that because she can feel how hard he already is from this angle. She really kind of just wants to unbuckle his pants and let him do her right here against his kitchen counter. She can't, though, and she knows it.

"Sam."

He nods and says, "Okay." But then he kisses her again, so she has to physically lower herself back to two feet and adjust her dress. She doesn't really want to, but the last thing they need is Jake walking in because nobody's ready to explain all of that yet.

Sam turns off the faucet and the light, and they go to his bedroom. It's still _his _room even though she spends nearly every night in it. It's strange, though, how comfortable she's come to be here. She's got things here- clothes in the closet, her glasses and a book on the nightstand. It feels like hers, even though it's still technically his.

He lays her down slowly and climbs on top of her while they're both still fully clothed. The urgency from the kitchen is gone, replaced instead with that devastatingly gentleness that is all him. She moves underneath him, obviously indicating a desire to go faster, but he just kisses her and says, "I just want to go slow, okay?"

She wants to tell him no because she really just wants to get off. But she can't because he's kissing her in that way that kind of makes her whole brain shut down. And regardless, he's honestly the only person she's ever been with who legitimately knows how to _make love. _It sounds sappy and stupid, but it's the truth. He's not even close to being the most experienced or the most inventive man she's been with, but he's the only one who has ever been able to actually pull this off. And while it may feel like torture on the build, he always makes it a hundred percent about her while they're doing this.

So she just nods.

He's just kissing her for what feels like forever, and she's kind of surprised that he hasn't even made a move to do anything else. She can _feel _how much he wants her- it's kind of obvious- but he seems totally content on just kissing her right now.

"You were the first girl I ever loved." She doesn't know why he's talking, but his lips have moved from her mouth and down to her neck. His tongue drags this slow, crazy trail from her ear down to her collarbone, and she lets her eyes close naturally. She wants to point out that they were kids and that there's a difference between love and infatuation, but she doesn't because there's a part of her that believes he really _did _love her. He's always been that fall hard and fall fast type, so if there was one boy in high school who actually felt _real _love for her, it was probably Sam Evans.

But she does her best to separate that time from now because she was a different person back then, and he was young and inexperienced and always nervous an awkward around her. They're different people now, matured and grown up, and there's nothing about what they're doing right now that even remotely compares to what they were doing as kids.

He's grinding into her a little bit, which is completely unfair because while it's probably making him feel good, it's making her feel like she might die if he doesn't actually _do _something. By the time he actually touches her, he's already gotten her completely naked and driven her crazy kissing way too much skin. She's already so turned on by the time he finally touches her that she's coming within minutes. He kisses her through it and keeps mumbling about how beautiful she is. He always does that, always tells her- she's finally starting to believe him.

She can't even think straight when he's finally inside of her, mostly because he's pushing in so slowly that she's almost positive she's going to die before this is all over. He groans when he can't go any further, and he stays there for a few seconds, not moving, with his forehead dropped to her shoulder. Finally, he lifts his head and looks at her.

His eyes are locked on hers when he says, "I've never felt anything close to what it feels like inside you," in this really deep voice that forces her to make some strange noise at the back of her throat that she doesn't mean to make. He moves a little bit, kissing her again, and she loves the way he makes her feel so many things at once. But when he puts his mouth by her ear and asks, "What do you feel? Right now?" she can only come up with a single word answer.

"Full…"

The slowness goes away after that. He's been holding out for way too long, and she knows he can't take much more. She's still barely come down from her last orgasm, but he makes sure she gets there again, just like he always does- or at least always tries to do- and then he's following right after her.

She really wants to sleep because she's inexplicably tired beyond reason. So she closes her eyes when he moves off of her, and they just lie there in total silence for a few minutes. She can hear him breathing, and then she finally feels his hand on her hip as he pulls her closer and rolls them so that she's completely on top of him. There's a lot of stickiness between them, sex and sweat and more, but she can't be disturbed by it right now. She's straddling his hips with her head on his shoulder and her face pressed into his neck. She likes the way this feels.

"I'm in love with you." He's stupid after he comes, all men are. But she doesn't care because she loves the way his voice sounds right now, and the hand he's got on her lower back is moving just easily enough to make her shiver a little bit. "I really did pray for someone… I'm so glad it was you."

She could stay like this forever probably, and she'd be okay. She's never felt like this before, either, and she's not dumb enough to push it away.

They stay like that for what feels like a really long time. His other hand is dragging slowly through her hair, and it feels so nice that she almost falls asleep. But then he's talking again, really quietly like he's nervous or something. "You're so good with Jake."

She's sleepy, but she mumbles, "I love him," because it's true.

"I want you to be his mom."

She wakes up at that and immediately lifts her head. She's almost mad at him for saying something like that, especially right now. But when she looks at him, she can tell it's not just typical post-sex dumbness talking. He's being totally serious, and she can tell just by the look on his face that it's something he's been bracing himself to say for awhile.

"I want you to be _all _my kids' mom…"

He's so quiet, so sincere. She can't do anything but kiss him because it's literally the only thing in her brain that makes sense right now. She can feel it all there when he kisses her back. He's not proposing to her or anything like that, but he's making a promise. And opening himself up to her in a way no one else ever has.

So she kisses him. Because she's pretty sure he can keep his promises forever.

And that's okay with her.

…

End

…

A/N: This is actually the end! Thanks again to everyone who reviewed. I'm glad you all enjoyed the story- it was really so much fun to write!


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